Jonas Brothers

Three guys (if you can even call them that) who for some reason have a shit load of fans even though they clearly do not possess any talent; you would realize this if you weren't retarded.
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:

1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. YAY FOR VANISHING
They have such shit lyrics! I'm sick of people saying that they're so meaningful and inspiring:
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."
First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.


ApparentStalkers CreepyMotherFuckers WhyDoPeopleLikeThisShit MusicIsGoingAllToHell I'dRatherBeAttackedByBulletAntsThanListenToThis
by IHadFunWithThis October 19, 2008
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Jonas Brothers

BOys who whine, call it music, and like to groom themselves by licking their genitals.
"holy shit! why is that guy sucking cock?"
"cuz he part of the Jonas Brothers."
"oh."
Jonas Brothers: "It tastes like vanilla!"
by NLT LOVVAAA May 13, 2008
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Jonas Brothers

Is the worst insult ever, worst ''music'' worst everything.
To suck, stink.
Girl1: Slut!!
Girl2: Jonas Brothers!!
Girl1: *gasp* *slap*
by Auroraa May 31, 2008
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jonas brothers

Probably the gayest band I have ever seen in my life. Their songs consist of 'singing' that sounds like a cock is being shoved down their throats while they're being butt-fucked by some 40 year old pedo. Their fans are made of 99% of the population of 9-17 year old girls who have never had their first kiss and and have an equally strange and stalker-ish obsession with HighSchool Musical and Disney Channel. Between the three Jonas Brothers they only have 3 eyebrows because each one has a uni-brow, especially the oldest one, kevin, who looks like he has some furry rodent glued to his forehead. They SAY they're virgins but we all know that they are not. We all know they are male-hookers, I mean, why else would their pants be so tight?
Jonas Brothers Fan- OHEMGEEEE JOE JONAS IS SOOOOO HAWWTT LIKE OHEMMGEEEE
Normal Person- Go get a life, fag.
by WHATtheEFF? June 20, 2009
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jonas brothers

A crap, overated band. They are only famous for being on the Disney channel all the time, and no, I don't watch Disney Channel, my little 7 YEAR OLD sister does, and I know some of their songs because my sister likes them. They started off as an okayish Christian band but are now a pathetic pop band that sing off-key, the oldest one must be about 18 and his voice is STILL developing and he sings like an 11 year old. All of there songs are about Looovvveeee and girls. It doesn't take much talent to write 15 songs about girls. Oh, and they've coppied about 3 of their songs from Busted.

They also call themselves 'Rockstars' when their music is bubblegum pop.

Please understand that not ALL preteens like them, I've hated them since I heared them on Disney Channel at 11...
Stupid slut teen/preteen: LIKE OMG! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEK! LIKE, I'M GOING TO SEE THE JONAS BROTHERS! I TOTALLY LOVE NICK!

Person with decent taste in music: Fuck off, go listen to real music.

Jonas Brothers:Uh Uhhh WoahG irl I wanna kiss you Oh Yeahhhh ohh baby you tell me that you love meeee yeaahhh ohhh uh ohhhh Ohh Uh-Uh *chokes*
by .Sara=] February 26, 2008
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jonas brothers

Over hyped teenie-bopper band advocated by the Disney Channel. Contains not a iota of talent but is still liked because of the supposed "smexiness" of the members. Can be proven false by the size of their eyebrows.
"Like, oh my god! Did you see that Jonas Brothers fan vid?"

"Like, no. I was watching Twilight fan vids listening to Hannah Montana. I'll look later."

~12 year old girls
by Aerii August 13, 2008
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Jonas Brothers

Sexual position in during a gay threesome where the three males fall asleep in a triangle each with someone elses cock in their mouth
While on tour, The Jonas Brothers (Nick, Joe and the other one) had a Jonas Brother, after they fell asleep 5 minutes past their bedtime :O
by Brandouche11 March 10, 2009
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