a talentless "band" consisting of three rediculously ugly, borderline homerotic brothers named paul, joe, and nick, who make millions a year by selling sex to preteen girls.
-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.
-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.
the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.
-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.
-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.
the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.
Jonas Brothers: Oh baybay, we want to stalk you and watch you through your window. Check out our awesome purity rings.
brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!
joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.
brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!
brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!
joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.
brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!
by beefjerky54621 March 27, 2009
by Alan Massacre April 13, 2009
the gayest thing since homosexuality itself. if you enjoy listening to them, please get some help or put a gun to your head and pull the trigger.
Idiot: Like OMJ I just totally love the Jonas Brothers
Fag: Yeah they're hot
Normal Person: *hits the idiot and the fag in the head with a balloon and they both die*
Fag: Yeah they're hot
Normal Person: *hits the idiot and the fag in the head with a balloon and they both die*
by some one from new york December 21, 2008
Three guys (if you can even call them that) who for some reason have a shit load of fans even though they clearly do not possess any talent; you would realize this if you weren't retarded.
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:
1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. YAY FOR VANISHING
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:
1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. YAY FOR VANISHING
They have such shit lyrics! I'm sick of people saying that they're so meaningful and inspiring:
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."
First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.
ApparentStalkers CreepyMotherFuckers WhyDoPeopleLikeThisShit MusicIsGoingAllToHell I'dRatherBeAttackedByBulletAntsThanListenToThis
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."
First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.
ApparentStalkers CreepyMotherFuckers WhyDoPeopleLikeThisShit MusicIsGoingAllToHell I'dRatherBeAttackedByBulletAntsThanListenToThis
by IHadFunWithThis October 19, 2008
"holy shit! why is that guy sucking cock?"
"cuz he part of the Jonas Brothers."
"oh."
Jonas Brothers: "It tastes like vanilla!"
"cuz he part of the Jonas Brothers."
"oh."
Jonas Brothers: "It tastes like vanilla!"
by NLT LOVVAAA May 13, 2008
by Auroraa May 31, 2008
Probably the gayest band I have ever seen in my life. Their songs consist of 'singing' that sounds like a cock is being shoved down their throats while they're being butt-fucked by some 40 year old pedo. Their fans are made of 99% of the population of 9-17 year old girls who have never had their first kiss and and have an equally strange and stalker-ish obsession with HighSchool Musical and Disney Channel. Between the three Jonas Brothers they only have 3 eyebrows because each one has a uni-brow, especially the oldest one, kevin, who looks like he has some furry rodent glued to his forehead. They SAY they're virgins but we all know that they are not. We all know they are male-hookers, I mean, why else would their pants be so tight?
Jonas Brothers Fan- OHEMGEEEE JOE JONAS IS SOOOOO HAWWTT LIKE OHEMMGEEEE
Normal Person- Go get a life, fag.
Normal Person- Go get a life, fag.
by WHATtheEFF? June 20, 2009