booze bruised

Having a damaged liver as a result of alcohol consumption

My uncle is a booze bruised alcoholic

by Raygun13 March 30, 2016

willy bruises

Bruises left by a child stronger than a man and feels like being hit with a baseball bat

Met my girlfriends boy today, got my ass kicked by a 9 year old and left me some Willy bruises, little bastard!

by Dwreck November 14, 2018

Bruise Cream

A cream used to heal bruising directly after an injury to the epidermis of your skin or a lie that your family will make fun of you for, for years.

This nurse put some bruise cream on my hand and massaged it real well after I smashed it in the pharmacy.

"You're a fuckin liar kaide!"

by Greaser pirate November 26, 2022

Wood Bruise

The soreness following up a good fuck.

Girl 1:Man my boyfriend fucked me so hard last night.
Girl 2: Are you wood bruised?

by GairBear March 1, 2013

Goalie Bruise

Verb/Adjective
meaning: A bruise received while playing the position "goalie" in a number of sports. Often received from being hitting with the ball/object.

in a sentence:

1,"Hey man, that shot gave me a really nice Goalie Bruise"
2,"Man that shot gave me a Goalie Bruise"
3,"OW SHIT, That's gonna give me a Goalie Bruise"

by Soul_Invictus April 5, 2021

Bruised Canoe

A sex act in which the female grips the penis so hard that it turns black and blue for maximum penile pleasure.

“Dude did you hear that Sadie gave Chris a bruised canoe last night? He’ll be hurting for awhile!”

by GrandpaDad69 February 4, 2023

word bruise

An injury inflicted by words or a certain configuration of noises, symptoms may include discoloration of face, ego. Weeping ( ocular, vaginal or anal)
If you experience a word bruise that lasts for more than 4 hours, run away and find an adult.
Common treatments for word bruises are;
Face diapers, phenobarbital, crying with kittens and ball growth encouragement thereapy

Why are you walking funny?
I have a word bruise on my sphincter , someone said I look fat in this dress.
You do!
Now I have a word bruise on my vagina! It feels like its full of sand!

by redflag73630 July 16, 2018