the chair fic

The chair fic is a (disgustingly kinky) smut fic written for Phan (dan howell and phil lester). The chair fic is mentally scarring for even hardcore phan shippers. In the chair fic, Phil is basically possessed by a chair, and forced to do horrible things to Dan, involving things like physical abuse, snakes, ants, boiling oil, ect. IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY READ IT, DONT EVER READ IT! SAVE YOURSELF THE TRAUUMAAAAA

1 "dude, have you read the chair fic?"
2 "EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEEWWWWWWWW" *pukes* *dies*

by Idk I just like llamas October 4, 2013

The chair emoji

The chair emoji is currently used as a joke, instead of typing "lmao" "LOL" "hahah" or something like that, you use it as the new laughing symbol.

blah blah blah
🪑🪑🪑🪑
what? why are you using The chair emoji????

by GREENWOLF_35 October 1, 2021

the chair is not your friend

the chair is not your friend

just means that when you are working 8 hours a day, you need a break to sit down on a chair but are not really supposed to because if you just sit there you are idle and that is not good for productivity...

the chair is not your friend....

by blthrskt May 6, 2009

The chair bear

The act of pissing and shitting on a chair simultaneously while watching porn

The chair bear was a great experience last night

by Lord ass boy12345 February 5, 2019

the chair of nails

A 15th century relaxation seat, used to force people to adhere to the churches teachings, by forcing 1 1/4 inch brass tacks across the entire back half of the body. The nails are sterilized after each use...with a hose. Can nowadays be found on cruise ship decks, in luxury high rise apartments, discerning golf clubhouse lounges, and as seats in high end private jets owned by bankers/criminals. Has mainly become a luxury item, affordable only by well to do yuppies, due to its ability to relax and revitalize in just under a fortnight.

The chair of nails is useful in many ways. The chair of nails cured me of my tuberculosis, and gave me horrific reoccuring nightmares. I reccomend the junior model, which can be used on children ages 3-12, with included restraints, and gravity feed bloodbucket. Believe me your children will never forgive you if you fail to purchase one, and subsequently force them to use it.

by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011

The Chair Standard

The amount of time it takes for gently used office chairs to be spoken for after an email is sent to accounting office staff announcing the chairs are available for exchange. Approximately 15 minutes per dozen chairs. Krispy Kreme donut standard is 1 hour per dozen.

The Krispy Kreme donuts don't meet the Chair standard.

by Athos2 November 10, 2021

The Chair Standard

The amount of time it takes for gently used office chairs to be spoken for in an accounting office after an email is sent out to staff announcing the chairs are available for exchange. Approximately 15 minutes per dozen chairs. Krispy Kreme donuts, by comparison, take 1 hour per dozen before all are gone.

The Krispy Kreme donuts do not meet the Chair standard.

by Athos2 November 10, 2021