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National “I Can’t Fucking Drive” Day 

May 7. Every fucking time I leave my house on May 7 for some reason nobody can fucking drive.
A: Why is everyone going 35 in a 45 and slamming their brakes?!
B: It’s May 7. National “I Can’t Fucking Drive” Day. Nobody is allowed to drive correctly today.

National get absolutely fucking railed by your girlfriend savannah day 

The day where Savannah fucks her girlfriend until said girlfriend forgets her own name.
“What day is it?”
“It’s National get absolutely fucking railed by your girlfriend savannah day“
Good to know

National thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day 

When you married to a bitch but every year somebody else got have sex with her.
I know that your wife but I gotta clap her cheeks for national thats your wife but I’m fuckin her day.