American Soldier (talking to President*): "So yea, my unit was pinned down by heavy enemy fire. I was shot 15 times and took an RPG to the face, but I managed to drag all 20 men to safety while taking out enemy combatants with nothing but throwing knives and bubble gum."
President: "I am utterly amazed by your Bad Ass Motherfuckery! Can I polish your medals, sir?"