masturbation

The act of having sex by yourself, sort of. Chances are someone in your vicinity is doing it at this very moment.

Masturbation should be king.

by captainfugu June 17, 2007

masturbation

an activity that every man has participated in.

You're into masturbation so why do you deny it?

by it's like shaving March 29, 2010

masturbation

pleasure acquired from the act of touching ones own privates.

text message
female: have you ever had masturbation frustration?

male: stoking my penis..
female: palming my clit naked on my bed. my legs are open.
male: good girl. how would you treat my johnny if you were here?
female: i'd suck you dry...

male: ooo? then you deserve a palm job till you squirt.
female: mm i like your big hands.

by naughtygirl November 18, 2013

masturbation

The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.

Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!

by Nick November 10, 2002

masturbation

The use of improvisational means to obtain sexual gratification in the absence of a partner.

Because the word "masturbation" sounds kind of boring, people have come up with an absurd amount of euphemisms for what is essentially sex without a partner.

I tried to look up "masturbation" on UD, but the constant use of euphemisms and the lack of a real definition drove me crazy.

by Anonymous debunker of myths October 16, 2009

masturbation

To fuck oneself

me: Why don't you just go and fuck yourself?
boyfriend: *goes off to do some masturbation*

by Guinevere134 June 12, 2009

masturbation

1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.

1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."

by thewhorewhoisjerome August 02, 2007