English mastiff

A huge ass dog that loves to take up all the room on your couches and will sit on the couch with just their butt. They also slobber a lot and will shake their head and fling it on your ceilings and walls. The English mastiff slept on kings and queens a while back to keep them warm too.

Person 1: hey have you met my dog yet?
Person 2: no actually, what kind of dog?
Person 1: oh, he’s an English mastiff.
Person 2: holy shit ~runs for life~

by Casstoi November 20, 2021

Messy mastiff

when your girl gives you a blowjob after dental anesthetic and you nut in her mouth so that it drools down her chin

My girl went to the dentist today. Guess who got a messy mastiff afterwards?

by Happy hamburger March 22, 2022

Mastif

1. Adjective describing the gargantuan proportions and nature of an action or object. Can be used ambiguously and totally out of context

2. An exclamation of approval. Can be proceeded by "that's" or can be left alone.

pronounced MAY-ass-Stee-iff

Young Man: Did you see the size of that bodily orifice?
Jon: That's Mastif!

by The Young Man Men February 16, 2009

Sweater Mastiffs

Used when describing a woman’s breasts when sweater puppies just isn’t enough.

Typically used when a woman is buxom and wearing a sweater or jumper, with her breasts taking up a large amount of real estate in said clothing.

Man, she has some serious sweater mastiffs!

by Dick Buttcus October 20, 2018

Mcstiffy

When ya have a hard on in the maccies drive through

"shit this maccies breakfast is giving me a mcstiffy

by Liz bones October 16, 2018

Mastify

To fuck up, mess up or destroy. Word originates from Cheboygan, Michigan.

I gotta take a dump. I'm gonna mastify the toilet!

by Buckostar November 19, 2010

Mastification

to have sex with all the whores of your
harem at one time.

shit mastafication is the bomb!!

by Kurt Himself August 15, 2003