Jovian is a very conflicting person usually wanting to start problems for the hell of it. Jovian can be nice at times but when everyone around him is having a good day, he’s the one to ruin it. He makes people laugh with disgusting humor and is disgusting himself. He’s a slob of a BOY, and he doesn’t care about anyone for himself. He’s other wise known as a pervert or man whore.
Example: That man whore is such a Jovian!
Example: That man whore is such a Jovian!
by Jovian’s a virgin December 3, 2019
Get the Jovian mug.Jovians are males who only want to fuck. They just exploid persons and only look after themself. When a Jovian used you out, it will hurt a lot and he's not even notice it. After you meet a Jovian, you will think about everything and gonna have questions in you mind, and the things doesn't have anything to do with him. He likes to connect to person who are close to you and doesn't care what you think about it.
by jjsjjfjfbebdbfbfbjf November 25, 2021
Get the Jovian mug.A metaphor for something recognizable but which cannot possibly be that thing. Implies that you should be careful of the thing, precisely because it cannot be what you recognize it to be.
If, however, you are encountering something that quacks like a duck and looks like a duck and craps like a duck swirling around Jupiter’s Great Red Spot, the one thing you should definitely conclude is that you’re not dealing with a duck. In fact, you should probably back away slowly and keep your distance until you figure out what you are dealing with, because there’s no f*cking way a duck could have evolved in the Jovian atmosphere. You are encountering a Jovian Duck. gently edited from Peter Watts
by undefining orthodoxy June 21, 2022
Get the Jovian Duck mug.A predictive algorithmic structure used to determine the probable outcomes of ranked online video game matches by analyzing complex, non-linear sequences in historical match data. The Jovian Split identifies statistically significant clusters in performance trends such as, team skill composition, recurring causes of defeat, opponent behavioral variance, time-of-day performance shifts, and geographically-induced server-side team configuration mismatches. It relies on stochastic modeling and probabilistic inference to surface outcome patterns that repeat under specific conditions with exceptional predictive power.
In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
"The team’s sudden 5-win, 7-loss, 10-win streak isn’t random — it’s a classic Jovian Split forming, triggered by roster consistency and repeated exposure to the same match pool."
The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.
The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.
by xr100rr July 8, 2025
Get the Jovian Split mug.A term for a man who is only attracted to other men. The term originated from the name Bon Jovi, most notably known for being a jovian. Penned by Mathias and Ryland Magoo.
by Meghed April 29, 2024
Get the Jovian mug.Men who are romantically and/or sexually attracted to men exclusively
Coined by the Funny Brothers Matt Watson and Ryan Magee
Coined by the Funny Brothers Matt Watson and Ryan Magee
by yunocchi March 18, 2024
Get the Jovian mug.Slang term for homosexual men based on famous singer Bon Jovi.
Coined by American Funny Brothers, aka Supermega.
Coined by American Funny Brothers, aka Supermega.
by MonkeyPussy March 18, 2024
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