Hewlett Packard

Hewlett Packard, abbreviated HP, is a corporation dedicated to manufacturing top-of-the-line malfunctioning, Cambodian sweatshop assembled, eAIDS infested plastic and metal scraps or "personal computers" run on Mongolian prostitutes' tit milk. HP laptops are as reliable, trustworthy, and totally clean of any "surprises" as much as a Hoe's Pussy. HP laptops are like used Afghani goat condoms repacked and assured of their technological innovativeness, technologically a hybrid between an ACER, a shopping cart, and liquidated, metal casted soiled drapes.
-Dude you bought an HP? Hewlett Packard "laptop" resting on my bed)
Yeah. She's tired though, she fucks me so hard 24/7 bitch almost caused a fire.

-How much?
$1500
by NukifyouBuk December 04, 2010
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Hewlett Packard

Rated worst computer company for two years by PC World.
PC World said "Apple soars. Acer and eMachines soar. HP(Hewlett Packard) snoars."
by PCWreader June 23, 2009
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Hewlett Packard

Hey, man. I _know_ Hewlett Packard SUCKS! I work there.
by HP-slave August 30, 2008
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Hewlett Packard

Invent - a company renowned for its technological advances especially in the field of computing.
by Alex Maftei December 17, 2004
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Hewlett Packard

A great computer company until you actually open it up and see the cluttered mess inside. They are good computers but pretty hard to customize.
"I opened my Hewlett Packard to find the RAM hidden behind a bunch of loose wires."
by MetalPunk December 04, 2008
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Hewlett Packard

Crappiest Computer Company ever. after a few years, the computer will have hardware problems. Your Laptop won't charge due to broken power socket or your CD Burner on your desktop starts to make funny noises. They are also hard to upgrade because wires are everywhere so it's hard to upgrade your memory, harddrive, etc.
Person: Why my laptop won't charge?
Person2: It's a Hewlett Packard. ~_~
by HP hater December 21, 2004
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Hewlett Packard

Company that makes substandard desktop computers, but has mediocre customer service.

Known for putting cheap proprietary parts (such as underpowered power supplies) in desktop computers so that the parts fail around the time the warranty expires. Forcing customers to either buy overpriced proprietary parts from HP, or buy new PCs.

This is good news for technicians who know of work arounds to repairing Hewlett Packards. Most computers seen at repair shops are, in fact, Hewlett Packards.

However,
Jim bought an Hewlett Packard desktop in July of 2006 and it lasted until exactly after the warranty ran out.
by Majestic Lizard May 13, 2007
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