Captain Kirk 

The act of defecating inside a girl's mouth. Named for Captain Kirk, a character played by William Shatner on the TV series "Star Trek."

"...and then I gave her the Captain Kirk..."

"Wait, what does that mean?"

"You know, she opened her mouth and then I Shatner!"

Captain Kirk by Dakota Dick April 28, 2010

captain kirk 

verb - The act of pushing toilet paper up you hole and twisting it around to make sure you are extra clean up there because much like the legendary star trek commander you are boldly going where no mans gone before in order to circle Uranus in search of Klingons!

I was sure she was going to toss my salad so I Captain Kirked real good

captain kirk by Johnny DeWadd Watkins December 11, 2008

Captain Kirk 

Masturbate.

Rhyming slang: jerk (off)

Seven of Nine, T'Pol, Uhura, Jadzia Dax and Councellor Troi all make me want to sneak off to the holodeck and have a quick Captain kirk.

Captain Kirk by Masked Avenger Dude June 20, 2010

captain kirk 

the act of inserting 2 fingers into the vagina and 2 fingers into the anus. also known as the spock or 2 in the pink 2 in the stink.

let me introduce you to captain kirk

captain kirk by r. o'conner November 30, 2007

Captain Kirk 

Work. One's place of employment.

"See you later, I'm off to Captain Kirk"
"Captain Kirk sucks! I'm going on the dole!"

Captain Kirk by Simon Cowels May 24, 2008

Captain Kirk 

Someone who owns a crappy toupeé; a loser who doesn't even know how to say lines... someone who gets on others nerves, and who flirts with every female/male that they see.

Man, such-and-such is such a Captain Kirk, that it's not even funny!!

Captain Kirk by A clog March 2, 2007

Captain Kirk's Vulcan Shocker 

Just like the Vulcan Shocker (two in the pink, two in the stink) with Captain Kirk's gentle thumb on the clit.

While I jacked him off, he gave be the Captain Kirk's Vulcan Shocker.

Captain Kirk's Vulcan Shocker by cutiebatooty March 21, 2010