bonerectus

An unusually erect penis. It is typically painful and the afflicted is brought to the edge of ejaculation but cannot quite attain release. Frequently followed by a severe case of blue balls.

Gordy stated, "I knew I shouldn't have worn these silk boxers today. My dick keeps rubbing against it and it's making me hard."
Fred replied, "I know what you mean. When I wore my wife's underwear to work last week, feeling that silk rub up against my dick, I got a full blown bonerectus. I had to run to the bathroom and beat it off and I still got blue balls from it."
Gordy replied with disgust, "That was you that got that shit allover the toilet seat? Damn, I sat in that. I had fucking pop-tart poop come on and plopped my ass down just in time only to realize I had semen on my mother fucking ass."

by Nutzen YerMouf March 9, 2018

Shit boner

When you are taking a shit and the shit won't fall down and it is really hard and all

I was having a GIANT shit boner last night

by Yeetkids November 5, 2018

Classroom Boner

When you are chilling in class and get a boner, particularly for no reason. Usually happens in the same classroom every day; particularly common throughout Jr. High and High School

Spencer: WTF, i always get this random boner in Mrs. Cone's room!

Garrett: Yeah, i get one in that class, too. Carver said that it's called a classroom boner.

by Boner_Man October 19, 2009

boner pong

A game played where two men each defend a goal and hit a ping pong ball with their erect penises at the other players goal. To score a player must get the ping pong ball in the other players goals. Hands are not allowed, the only part of a player's body that is allowed to touch the ping pong ball is the erect penis. The player with the highest score after erect penises shrink wins.

Chaz and Brock got really drunk at the frat party and decided to play boner pong.

by Nutzen YerMouf March 6, 2018

fan your boner

relax, chill, stop being so overly excited, there's no reason for alarm, it's all going to turn out okay. Also, don't count your chickens, and don't assume that sex is imminent or that something else very good is about to happen.

Dude, fan your boner. She was only dancing with you to make her boyfriend jealous.

Okay, okay. Fan your boner. There's gotta be somebody around here who can give us directions.

by brian48 September 22, 2008

John Boner

The formal pronunciation of House Speaker John Boehner, incorrectly said to be "John Bayner".

"Didn't pass a bill for hurricane sandy? Shuts down the government? What a John Boner."

"John Boner's name explains himself."

by Harry Dickinher October 3, 2013

Boner inducing rage

When you're so angry your body can't help but funnel your rage to the most quivering part of your body.

When I found out Julia cheated on me, I went into a Boner inducing rage.

by Samson Sanchez February 9, 2013