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vauxhall nova

Preferred ned(aka chav)mode of transport, Vauxhall Nova's can typically be seen pointlessly wasting fuel in the city and town centres of our country as well as many of our nation's country parks(see strathycruise.com).

These vehicles are very rarely seen in their original factory configuration, many having been purchased by neds/chavs, who have a strong desire to own hard looking sports cars that will impress 12 year old nedettes/chavettes that they are looking to pursue sexual relations with.

Typically a Vauxhall Nova will have been retrofitted with many after market modifications which include, noise polluting large bore exhausts which typically double as shelters for tramps, pointless bonnet air scoop(no intercooling mechanism or forced induction turbo charging system that would require such a scoop is fitted), a "spoiled" spoiler similar in scale to the average wing of a boeing 747 aircraft is fitted to the rear, a gaudy body kit, neon lights on the windscreen washers and under the car, and a stereo system with a sub-woofer that requires so much power that it typically overloads the car's electrical system, similar sound systems can be found in Stadiums or shopping malls also most nova's are fitted with alloy wheels so large that it gives the car the appearance of a monster truck.

Nova's are also found with a large amount of rust on all body panels and sills, some neds/chavs will attempt to rectify this situation, by applying large amounts of filler paste to the affected area's giving the car an uneven and bumpy appearance, in some cases the repair of rust will trigger the painting of the car in a hideous vomit inducing hue.

Vauxhall nova's of this type will have the standard 1.2 or 1.4 vauxhall engine, and will often attempt to race other vehicles with a significantly more powerful engines, this will typically end in humilation for the ned/chav driving the vehicle and can greatly reduce his change of sexual intercourse with the 12 year old nedette/chavette that is often found in these vehicles as an after market modification.

Examples of this type of Vauxhall Nova can be found adourning the pages of Max power magazine each month.

Nova's in their original factory configuration are typically smoky old rust buckets owned by irritating old pensioners who just should'nt be driving.
"How do you fit 6 neds in a Vauxhall Nova???"
by Kasei October 19, 2004
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vauxhall

Once a luxury British car manufacturer until it was acquired by General Motors in 1921. From there on it ceased to be the biggest rival of Bentley, and was instead merged with opel, who GM accquired in 1926, and forced to produce cheap, nasty little cars, sub-standard to Ford. Vauxhall Make the same cars as Opel do, but they are only given the name Vauxhall in the UK, where they are also badged and named differently. Sometimes, when a new model is designed, Vauxhall will assume the name of the car it replaced under opel. Today, they occasionally make a good, fast car, but rarley. Also, Vauxhall barely do anything right without Lotus. Damn Americans, americanizing british car manufacturers and making them shit.

Fuck you GM. I'll send Osama after you.
Vauxhall Nova = Opel Corsa

Vauxhall Corsa = Opel Corsa


The Corsa replaced the nova, but they had the same name on the continent.

Vauxhall cavalier= Opel Vectra

Vauxhall Vectra = Opel Vectra

Vectra replaced the Cavalier, but Opel customers thought they were later editions of the car.
by Gumba Gumba March 21, 2004
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Vauxhall Corsa

A Vauxhall Corsa owner is someone who is believed to be a nonce. They prefer underage girls and McDonald’s. Typically seen in tescos car park and outside their local highschools these young pedophiles are very well known for there noncey behaviour.
Person 1: Oh look another Vauxhall Corsa in McDonald’s drive through.

Person 2: Such a nonce
by Gingernigga April 1, 2020
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Vauxhall Corsa

A small supermini owned by Vauxhall.
Usually driven by the younger generation of today, the type who grunt for general communication and have hair that would disgrace a badgers arse.

You know the type.

Normally modified to the level of a five year old, typical 'Lexus Look' Lights, Plastic body kits, an exhaust fitting that is almost always a stripped tin of baked beans.
Jim: "Look there goes one of those Vauxhall Corsa's Stuart"
Stuart: "Yes, your right Jim, you know how I know? Because I've just had a pot of paint thudded of my forehead"

A drone of a measly engine follows, with the cackling laugh of the 'Filthy Youth' of today echoing through the evening air
by The FiatMobile June 10, 2009
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vauxhall diet

The so called slimming "diet" that can sometimes be a positive side-effect when you're going clubbing/festival-ing on at least a weekly basis and taking a cocktail of hunger-reducing drugs, predominately coke and MDMA. Originating from the gay scene in the Vauxhall area of London.
"Ooohh gurl, you looking skinny as fuck, have you started gyming?!"

"Nah mate, just been on a bit of a vauxhall diet the past few weekends"

"Ooohh you coke whore you!"
by Lyf Tho May 14, 2017
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vauxhall nova

the ultimate gadey car. fopr neds
look at ma nova pal(in a ned voice)
by SeanX May 13, 2003
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Vauxhall Astra

The best car in the known universe. It's best features include anti-dog missiles, caramel-flavored wipers, cattle-prod and non-ωorking brakes.
The car can go from 0-60 in under 10 hours and costs the same as a helicopter gunship.
Jeremy Clarkson: The car you see is not very good. Quite apart from the fact that it’s a Vauxhall Astra, which has the social appeal of herpes, it has wonky steering and a completely unfathomable on-board computer. But I’d have one.
by Vauxhaulastra June 12, 2008
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