Top deck

v. to top deck: a house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top deck after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
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Top deck

Verb meaning to lift the lid off a toilet cistern and subsequently crap inside. Your shit will go undetected for months, except that each time someone flushes the smell will be released. It gets worse with every pull of the chain as the festering turd decomposes. Try top decking your enemies - it's the gift that keeps on giving.
I hate that jerk! Next time I'm round his house I'm gonna top deck his m*therf*ckin' toilet
by AnthonyH May 10, 2012
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top deck

To have a wank while taking a crap. Originates from the Cadbury chocolate bar of the same name which is half white choc and half brown.
"I'll be out in a minute, I'm just having a quick top deck!"
by willyjoejack October 16, 2006
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top deck

Another term for a person who's race is a mix of white and black; 1 parent is white, 1 parent is black. this word was founded after the chocolate top deck; white and black.
Ben is a top deck, he'll steal a car but then he'll return it.
by mc mickey November 12, 2005
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Top Deck Trick

The cunning ploy of buying the cheapest fare on the bus and sitting right at the back of upper deck in hope the driver wont see you riding 3 or more stages past where you should have got off. Often failing causing the driver to throw you off. This is often done by teenagers and pissed up nobheads coming home from the pub with on 70p left in the pocket.
" Aww fuckin ell Dave its miles home and i`m brassic" "Its allreet Kev we`ll do the top deck trick" Bang on Dave!
by Upper Class Twit August 08, 2007
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top deck dump

Pooping in the cistern (toliet tank).
The bathroom stinks to high heaven because some total fartknocker (a true buttweed) took a top deck dump!!!
by Telephony January 05, 2011
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top deck dump

Pooping in the cistern (toliet tank).
The bathroom stinks to high heaven because some total fartknocker (a true buttweed) took a top deck dump!!!
by Telephony January 05, 2011
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