steven seagal 

One of the coolest actors ever. A ninja and not afraid to show it.

Me> damn, steven seagal is the fucking man

Retard> that guy is a shitty actor and his movies su-

Steven Seagal> -appears out of nowhere and swiftfully executes a flawless move, paralyzing the un-wise one from the back down-

Me> thanks, steven

Steven Seagal> no problemo -dissapears-

steven seagal by GOERNR January 17, 2006

Steven Seagal 

When you shit in a white tube sock and then proceed to recklessly beat people with it like Steven Seagal in his prime.

Will burst out of the water closet and proceeded to Steven Seagal Jacob, leaving a trail of feces behind him.

Steven Seagal by Butt-Fart Jackson October 13, 2011

Steven Seagal 

An actor who is funnier to use in "Chuck Norris jokes" instead of Chuck Norris simply beacause the fact of that he is more awesome.

He is good friends with Jackie Chan.
He speaks fluent japanese
He is an Aikido master of 7th dan.
He owns a dojo in japan.
He is almost always seen in a ponytail.
He is the greatest man alive.

Besides making badass action movies, Steven Seagal also plays the guitar and sings. And of course he's in a band.

Steven Seagal doesn't care what time it is, he decides what time it is.

Everytime boogieman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, however every time Chuck Norris goes to bed he checks his under his bed, inside his closet, outside his window, in the living room, kitchen and in his garage for Steven Seagall.



Steven Seagal: The secret is not to act, but to be.

Steven Seagal by Kniv April 15, 2009

Steven Seagal Porno

A porno involving Steven Seagal. Some famous pornos of him were Out for an Orgy, Hard to Penetrate, and Buddha or Bust. In these pornos, Steven Seagal is most known for dropping up to a gallon of semen on Japanese girls when the scene is almost over. That's assuming he doesn't choke them out first. You'll know for sure that you're watching a Steven Seagal porno if you hear crazy techno music in the background - music you can only dance to in a speedo. Most of these were made in the 80's but there are a few that were made past 1990 and even into the 2000s!

In short, it's a porno featuring Steven Seagal as the star.

Well I spent my Thursday evening watching a Steven Seagal Porno. It was the one where he goes into the gym wearing only his underwear and fucks every girl in the cardio section except for this obese one.

Steven Seagal Porno by Nosferatu1488 March 12, 2010

Steven Seagal 

Fat, out of shape actor who has trouble speaking because of his fat face. Moves hands a lot when he has to fight. Fights in films don't last long because he tires very quickly

A line from any steven seagal movie

Villian: Ha Ha My plan is almost complete
Seagal: mmm mmmmm mm mm huuuh mmm huuuhhh mmm huuhhh

Seagal proceeds to beat up villian very slowly

Steven Seagal by ric flair August 8, 2006

Steven Seagal 

The Worst Insult You Can Call Someone, Synonyms Include Delusional, Insane, Ridiculous, Sexist, Aikido Master & Friend Of Putin.

Person 1: Get Outta Here, Steven Seagal
Person 2: *Audible Horrified Gasp*

Steven Seagal by The Youtuber, It's Kyle Time September 18, 2023

Steven Segal 

1. verb: The act of maintaining your face in one expression for either all or the remainder of your life.

Dude, the teacher's been Steven Segal-ing me for a whole hour...

I'm gonna go Steven Segal that chick.

Steven Segal by Billy Spastic December 9, 2008