Spatulatory Rape

the common act of using a spatula while cooking to enter into something and/or separate it from sticking or to stir some mixture until the correct consistency is acquired for further steps in the cooking process, without the permission of inanimate objects because inanimate objects can't consent

OR

to use the handle end of a spatula as a dildo without permission, often in place of using one's one penis or strap-on for a number of illogical reasons

Lucy: The only sex around here before eight is spatulatory rape, and that's only when I cook.

Mary: That's disappointing. You need to remind Joe of his Seduciary Responsibility .

OR

Lucy: Oh! Yeah! Like that! Wait, what do I feel?

Joe: I heard from Mary's husband Bob that you like spatulatory rape, so I'm using the spatula instead since you like it so much.

by Perry Winnwet January 23, 2010

Flag

Get the Spatulatory Rape mug.

Allentown Spatula

(Noun) While between the temperatures of 80 degrees fahrenheit and 91 degrees, one man defecates on a rusty spatula and gently lowers it into a wok for stir frying (counter clockwise) while the wok is set on high. The man then waits for the feces to set ablaze and reloads it onto the sullied spatula. Finally, the man hurls the still molten fecal matter off of the highest level of the PPL building onto passing pedestrians between the hours of five o'clock PM and seven thirty PM on every second Thursday and fourth Monday of the month. Repeat five times .

Did you get another haircut?
Nah, man. I got hit by an Allentown Spatula.

by MCedeno October 28, 2010

Flag

Get the Allentown Spatula mug.

spachulanis

spachulanis is a serious disease/syndrome that is brought on by listening/looking/smelling/touching jacob sartorius. your head may begin to hurt. your ears will bleed and you should seek medical attention. First said by YouNower Beau Bowers.

friend: "hey listen to jacobs song"

you: "THIS IS GIVING ME SPACHULANIS!

by shmeepmop May 16, 2016

Flag

Get the spachulanis mug.

Spatchball

A highly inventive and entertaining sport, played with the help of non-metal spatulas and an average-sized spherical beach ball. Winning countless awards for its structure and violence, Spatchball is the booming minor league activity of the next generation. Teams consist of the AthELITES and Non-AthElites, where the names of the organizations directly correlate to the outcome of the match. Both Standard Court Spatchball "SCS" and Basketball Spatchball have the sole purposes of scoring goals, 2 pts, and hitting opponents in the face with the ball, 1 pt, otherwise known as "spatchface." One can bounce, dribble, throw, alley oop, shoot, pass, deflect or push the spatchball on any part of the court in order to score/spatchface. Both cross checking and hooking are encouraged and badass. Spatchball can only be played with non-metal spatulas and no body parts, foreign objects or other random ass kitchen appliances. In the event of one dropping his or her own spatula this results in two minutes in the penalty box while the rest of the teammates must play a man down. In the spring, Roller Spatchball becomes the leading game, played with all of the same rules just insanely more dangerous. On a side note: Duct tape is both used and encouraged on spatulas to differentiate among players equipment and provide an extended level of accuracy when hitting the ball. First team to 20 pts (AthELITES) wins.

Random Bystander: Dude, what the fuck are you doing with a beach ball and spatula? Get a fricken job.

Spatchball Player: Ok, "Ryan" I'll get the fuck on that, I'm in the middle of a Spatchball game so if you don't GTFO I may have to spatchface your ass.

by RoadRunnerMeepMeep August 30, 2010

Flag