Optical rectumitis

A shitty outlook on life

Willard has been slapped down so many times he has optical rectumitis

by Big huff February 24, 2024

Optical Rectumitis

Optical Rectumitis is a neurosis resulting from having a brain fill so full of shit from institutionalized false authorities and first principles that the person is blinded to objective reality. Differs from Recto-cranial Inversion, or head-up-ass disease in that Optical Rectumitis sufferers are sucking new shit daily, while the rectocranial inverted people are hiding from new shit in old shit. Libtards tend toward optical rectumitis while conservatards tend toward rectocranial inversion.

Elon Musk's Optical Rectumitis is so severe, he thinks he can build a space port on 2000 feet of mud in a hurricane prone river delta and get to Mars by 2030 with a spacecraft that has suffered several "unscheduled disintegrations", two in 2025 alone.

by Whistle Blower0013 May 14, 2025

cranial rectitis

1. n. A condition noted by behaving in such a puerile, obnoxious, and moronic manner as to have one's head up his or her ass. Note that things are dark and smelly for someone with this condition.
2. When someone is severely afflicted to the point that his or her shoulders are two-blocked against the buttocks, this is known as "perpendicular cranial rectitis."

Why do all those Hollywood idiots have such cranial rectitis?
Boy, Harry Reid debates with all the intellectual acumen of SpongeBob SquarePants. How did he contract perpendicular cranial rectitis?

by Dan1271 November 8, 2007

Ocular rectitis

When the nerves between your anus and eyes switch and you have a shitty outlook on life.

*after listening to someone bitch/be negative/ have a shitty outlook on life* "Wow, looks like you're suffering from ocular rectitis."

by From my awesome grandfather <3 September 1, 2010

ex rectumis

Pseudo-Latin phrase meaning "out of the ass". Used to describe anything pulled or otherwise ejected out of one's ass.

Chase: Can you believe Steve's report?
Carol: I saw it and I don't believe it. Where'd he get those numbers?
Ted: I'd wager a little ex rectumis research.

by mcfm October 15, 2010

Optical Rectalitis

Where your head is so far up your ass you have a shitty outlook on life.

With his recent string of bad luck, Richard suffers from an acute case of Optical Rectalitis.

by awesumwordster January 25, 2012

Cranial Rectimitus

The serious medical condition where the sufferer is known to have their head lodged firmly and permanently up their own ass. Symptoms are readily apparent in the patient's behavior and verbal interactions.

Ross' behavior was nigh on inexplicable... the only possible explantion for his asinine behavior was a terminal case of Cranial Rectimitus.

by Tron Engewar February 3, 2008