Pedophile Glasses

Glasses worn by a pedophile - typically made to change to sunglasses when worn outdoors, but generally just stay a sleazy, cloudy color ... good for peering at children on the play ground.

Those pedophile glasses look amazing on you. I wish I was twelve.

by sera31204 July 9, 2010

Pedophile Piñata

When a pedophile fills his pants with assorted treats and offers small children the chance to attempt to break open his pants and gain access to the candy by using only their face to bash against his crotch and genitals.

"This weekend I was playing pedophile piñata with Mr.Herbert. It was very fun, but by the time I got the candy out, it was all stuck together an gooey."

by Phil Meballs March 2, 2009

Masquerading Asshole Pedophile

The correct abbreviation of MAP.

Minor Attracted Person? More like Masquerading Asshole Pedophile.

by APersonWhoMightBeInsane January 13, 2022

PaedoPhil

Someone who is interested in children in a sexual way called Phil.

Did you hear? PaedoPhil is being released today!
Oh look, there's that PaedoPhil!
PaedoPhil got locked up again today, the dirty paedo!

by MyWordsAreMyOwn January 10, 2021

Pandaphile

Any individual obsessed with pandas to the point of that individual becoming a creepy stalker of pandas. This individual will surround them selves with all sorts of Panda memorabilia, and constantly rave about the latest videos of pandas. They may also have their desktop set to the PandaCam so they can keep constant tabs on the object of their obsession.

Note: Not to be confused with a Panda File, which is a perfectly acceptable way of keeping tabs on all the latest Panda Diplomacy News going on in the world.

Nate: "Wait, so how long have you been staring at that PandaCam?"

Christ: "I don't know- OMGSHHH IT JUST SNEEZZEEEEDD"

Nate: "Pandaphile."

by Mary Danger March 22, 2011

pedophile van

A large, older van, typically brown or white in color, and often with tinted front windows and no windows in the back. Not all pedophile vans are used for the purpose of luring young children to kidnap with promises of candy or toys, but if somebody were to decide they wanted to do this, a pedophile van would be the perfect vehicle.

My friend just bought a total pedophile van. Either he is a rapist or has very poor choices in vehicles.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

Piedophile

One who is attracted to small pies, tarts, quiches and crumbles of the sort made by Mr Kipling. Unlike being piesexual, this is highly illegal. Being found in possession of child pienography carries a maximum sentence of three years.

Did you hear about that piedophile they arrested last week? Apparrently they noticed him after he tried buying sixteen boxes of Bramley Apple Pies at once.

by Me_Again September 27, 2011