Kohl's leave

This is what happens when you shit yourself at work and have to go to Kohl's to buy new pants and underwear. Best used when Kohl's is right across the street from work so you don't leave a train of actual shit.

Fuck. I just shit myself. Guess I better request Kohl's leave from management.

by CognitiveCaveat January 31, 2025

Meet me behind the Kohl's

Something one person will say to another to ask for sexual intercourse.

The woman said to the man, "Meet me behind the Kohl's", because she was horny.

by Aspeechkid January 8, 2011

shane kohl

He is an amazing man in every aspect, smart, goofy, makes great friends with anyone he wants. He is an amazing singer and great with music, doesnt really want to be a father but he looks for the perfect young woman. Hes a sexy beast and is tall and couldnt be more handsome. Hes worth every second of your time and hes very affectionate and loyal. Honest and comforting. You couldnt ask for a more perfect man in your life.

Hes such a Shane Kohl

by Tex Ruin February 1, 2015

kohlschmorfen

When you desperately hit on absolutely everyone, even though the chances are just as great as winning 500.000€ in lotto scratch-off tickets.

This guy just cannot stop kohlschmorfen. Why doesn't he understand that I'm not interested?

I have received a lot of messages from Simps which tried to kohlschmorf all the time!

by AlexDerZerstörer March 27, 2022

Kohls

An establishment located in plazas and sometimes traditional malls. Mr.Kohl "pioneered" a method where the registers are at the front like a grocery store but since then this technique has ineffective because current management believes that having only one worker on the registers is sufficient. Because of their lack of insight this leads to a constant "barrage of backup to mens!", "backup to womans!", "There is no line at jewelry!",etc over the intercom.Most of the time even despite the lack of workers at the register the reason for the hold up at the register is because of the employees who participate in long drawn out conversations with customers about the great "deals" they have. The main reason for the delays at the register, however; is due to the company's credit policy. Each Manager is bred and trained into credit "whores" where their main existence is to bully and pester customers into signing up for credit cards where they charge a fee of 20% if your late on your payment.$100, you pay $120. If the customer says no they don't want a credit card in the manual an employee supposed to say, "Are you sure you have an opportunity to save up to 12 times a year" and if that doesn't work in a desperation move an employee is then supposed to ask if they would like to sign up for an email account. Kohls prides itself in a yes we can! policy i.e. if you bring a shirt to the register and say its 20 bucks but on the register it says the actual price is 30 they are supposed to give it to you for 20. Actually because the people working at the registers believe they have some divine duty to not give anyone a deal add to the increased barrage of people on the intercom by calling for employees to see if that is the actual price. Continuing their credit whore policy it is common for a manager to go on the intercom and plea for customers to sign up for a credit card and describing the "benefits", these can last up to 3 minutes. Even though the sounds emitting over the intercom can sound like nails on a chalkboard some would argue that its a better then the atrocious music that plays such favorites as "All in this Together" - Ben LeeOne day on an 8 hour shift this song played a total of three times inducing nausea.Kohls attempts to justify their credit whoring by saying that it benefits everyone including employees because each employee receives a meager stock option after a year of employment and it will help increase that value;however, most employees don't even survive their 90 day training period let alone a year. An employee also only receives an increase of 50 cents to their paycheck for each credit card whored. The job pays bad especially in comparison to other similar retail establishments in the same class some even offer commission. Every Kohls is always understaffedgranted a lot of employees quit this shortage leads to a lack of customer service and a pigpen of a store. To add salt to the wound every week their is a customer service report card and the common complaint is lack of available associates, The managers then manipulate this statistic by putting the blame on employees saying they are not wearing their name badge or they don't smile and say hi to each customer. Kohl's does however offer cheap merchandise albeit at the expense of its employees so it is a good place to find a deal.That being said as an employee the workplace at Kohl's left me with a pessimistic outlook on life and since my termination from the company i feel like a changed individual.Oftentimes work experience will help you become a better worker but Kohls has managed to put me in a worse position then before i started.

Franklin: "Ayy brahhhh why'd yous get fired from Kohls?"

Leonard: " Cuz, i got caught spitting game at a girl for twenty minutes on the camera but I dont really care because i hated that place."

Franklin: " Damn,...that bad huh"

Leonard: "The job has probably shortened my life expectancy..."

by disABALa April 13, 2008

kohls

A giant soul sucking chain of department stores, which started out as a grocery store and is now an incredibly profitable business. They pride themselves on low prices and great customer service. The so called sale prices aren't sales, they r items that hav been marked up and then down 2 create a fake sale, the clearence is the only good deal, with xxxl sizes and damaged merchandise. The managment are power hungry uneducated fools that sit on their asses all day and complain that nothing gets done. Customers who shop there r fat white trash hicks that let their inbred kids run around the store destroying everything, while they try on hoochie mama outfits. Employees r underpaid slaves that hav 2 listen 2 customers bitch and complain that they didn't get the 75 cents off they were promised in their imaginations. Kohls is the place wher dreams go 2 die.

Brother:"after were done having sex, wanna pack up the 12 kids and head to kohls?"

Sister:"yea, I don't hav a job or a life I mite as well go try on clothes that don't fit"

by chachaddict April 20, 2009

kohls

An unwanted change of plans, often associated with a screw up or mistake.

Also a chain of department stores.

"That idiot Jesse kohlsed the ski trip again, looks like he's not going..."

by scairns March 31, 2009