Jon

A Jon is a really bad dude. He often slaps skeezers with his massive chode, while also caring for his friends and family. He has a tendency to summon mythical greek gods to aid him against haters. A Jon also pisses excellence, so much that he has created a massive flood or two. Some may blindly state that god created these floods to test Noah's Ark. One look at a real Jon could make a blind man see, a crippled child run, or a woman with a gag reflex deepthroat.
Man #1: "Hey bro, who's over there bashin out all those skeezies?"

Man #2: "That must be a Jon. You can tell by the way he's also texting his mom, telling her that he misses the family."
by tumtum12 January 28, 2011
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Jon

This gift called Jon means never having to say soz!
by silverdarling February 07, 2010
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Jon

To fail despite certain success, usually with respect to seducing the opposite sex.
"I was going to totally get with this girl blud, but then i totes Jon'd it!"
"Mate that girl is so in to you, don't Jon it up"
Mark was going to have "enthusiastic cuddleling" with Sarah until he called her Cindy and Jon'd it up.
by MaxPowerPhysicist October 22, 2012
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Jon

A king size joint roll to be enjoyed during a long session as a personal or in a party.
Yo, I'm bout to roll a jon in dis bitch.
its been a minute since i blazed a jon son.
by BlazeJonson November 28, 2011
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Jon

A faggot that steals everyones food
Mom: a made a pizza!

*jon eats it all*
by Motherfing true August 17, 2013
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Jon

Cumbersome (difficult to deal with due to size and weight). Is also a big dick.
The movers said that the piano is very jon.
by Diana & Sheila July 11, 2008
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Jon

A gay fag, sex-crazed, perverted fucking bitch. Is obsessed with awful memes, jerking off to incest porn, his bisexual friends, and not shutting the hell up. Jon has pale skin and always has so much acne.
This boy is a fuckboy fag, he must be Jon!
by kurly kue kouldn't kare less September 01, 2017
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