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Illini Bronze Tablet

One must travel to the Japan garden in the Arboretum at UIUC with a sturdy fishing pole. Using some local worms, they must fish out one of the koi fish from the pond. Then, in one swift motion, they must both pry open the koi's mouth and shit inside of it. The fish must then be vigorously shaken like a 2 liter bottle of diet coke and chucked back into the pond.
Jimmy: "Hey, what did you do last night after leaving Legends?"
Jacob: "I drove my Honda fit to the Arboretum and hit a quick Illini Bronze Tablet."
Jimmy: "That's totaly radical dude!"
by IlliniKoi April 12, 2025
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Fondling Illini

2023-24 version of Fighting Illini men’s basketball team, seeded 3 in East Region
The Fondling Illini were up just two points with 14 minutes to play as nd my bracket was about to go bust — but in the time it took me to switch channels from CBS to the live stream they were up 19.
by Seldom Seen Smith March 21, 2024
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Pinch Illini

I shook my Pinch Illini off after taking a piss
by Save America January 7, 2023
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Illini

Projected offensive stats.
120 yards passing
60 yards rushing
2 fumbles
1 interception (would be 2 but Cooper is out)
The Fighting Illini will do nothing against a defense that pulled the Hawkeyes to #16 in the nation.
by Thomasthetrain666 November 18, 2023
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Fondling Illini

2023-24 version of Fighting Illini men’s basketball team, seeded 3 in East Region
The Fondling Illini were up just two points with 14 minutes to play as nd my bracket was about to go bust — but in the time it took me to switch channels from CBS to the live stream they were up 19.
by Seldom Seen Smith March 21, 2024
mugGet the Fondling Illini mug.

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