A one-way conversation wherein the passive participant cannot break away from the one who is speaking, despite the tediously protracted passage of time. This is a common manifestation of fucktardation.
The 'hostage taker' often falls into (but is certainly not limited to) one of these categories:
1. the drunk person with whom one is barely acquainted, but who adamantly refuses to recognize their lack of a substantial past connection with the hostage and continues to shout about themselves over whatever noise is happening at the bar/club/concert/tractor pull
2. a person who has experienced a recent break-up, and feels compelled to verbally re-hash the experience ad nauseum
3. someone who habitually takes otherwise harmless small talk to the worst possible extreme, talking the ear off of anyone who will listen about insubstantial trivia because they cannot comprehend the beauty of conversational brevity
The 'hostage taker' often falls into (but is certainly not limited to) one of these categories:
1. the drunk person with whom one is barely acquainted, but who adamantly refuses to recognize their lack of a substantial past connection with the hostage and continues to shout about themselves over whatever noise is happening at the bar/club/concert/tractor pull
2. a person who has experienced a recent break-up, and feels compelled to verbally re-hash the experience ad nauseum
3. someone who habitually takes otherwise harmless small talk to the worst possible extreme, talking the ear off of anyone who will listen about insubstantial trivia because they cannot comprehend the beauty of conversational brevity
person one: "Hey Dangus, how did things go at your family reunion?"
person two: "Sketchy! I got spotted by my drunk-ass aunt...the bitch talked my ear off for an hour about her divorce, like I give a shit...her crackhead ex is probably getting his fudge tunnel reamed in some sketch pad right now. The hostage crisis went on for so long that I was getting desperate...so I farted really loud on purpose while she was talking, and then remarked, 'HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID?' The lush's mouth dropped open and I bailed...crisis averted!"
person two: "Sketchy! I got spotted by my drunk-ass aunt...the bitch talked my ear off for an hour about her divorce, like I give a shit...her crackhead ex is probably getting his fudge tunnel reamed in some sketch pad right now. The hostage crisis went on for so long that I was getting desperate...so I farted really loud on purpose while she was talking, and then remarked, 'HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID?' The lush's mouth dropped open and I bailed...crisis averted!"
by hecktor dangus, esq. May 17, 2008
Get the hostage crisis mug.by Ivan the drunken baller June 18, 2018
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A phrase used when u need to take a shit:
Other phrases: Touching cloth, Turtles head, Take the kids to the pool.
Other phrases: Touching cloth, Turtles head, Take the kids to the pool.
by MJ January 1, 2005
Get the chocolate hostage mug.To Have a Shit
by chutneyferret January 21, 2004
Get the Free the Chocolate Hostage mug.When eating out: the purgatorial time between receiving the check and receiving your receipt. In this space, you are trapped, having already finished your food, but cannot leave the restaurant because the waiter inexplicably does not just take your card when he gave you the check. And when he does, takes 10 minutes to come back. Generally not seen outside the US, where waiters, more smartly, carry credit card machines with them.
Finished my meal at Applebee's at 9pm, but didn't leave til 930, spending 30 minutes as a receipt hostage.
by theoldsage November 13, 2016
Get the receipt hostage mug.When your girlfriend takes fucking forever to figure out what to eat and you're stuck hostage waiting forever starving to death suffering greatly :(
For fucksake Diana hurry up and decide what you want to eat so we can go and order! Your holding me food hostage! Im sooo hungry!!!!
by JyahC July 6, 2019
Get the food hostage mug.by TZ October 7, 2005
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