Granola Sex  

"Granola Sex" N. 1. Sexual intercourse between two hippies. 2. Sexual Intercourse wherein the participants haven't shaved, showered, plucked, worn perfume/cologn/make-up, or deodorant. 3. Sexual Intercourse that takes place in nature, away from civilization (i.e. forests, mountains, fields, meadows, etc.)

Jack: (Seductively) hey, I just realized...we're camping and neither of us has had a shower in like, 6 days.
Jane: (Arches eyebrow)

(later, post-coital in the middle of the nature hike)

Jane: (Heavily breathing) Wow...that was the most amazing Granola Sex ever!
Jack: You are an animal!

Granola Sex by Ecogreengirl January 9, 2008

granola shoes 

The old man hiking shoes that are worn daily by embarrassing dads, uncles, and on occasion grandfathers.
Description: The weird rubber/mesh sandal looking roman shoes that strap around you foot a gazilaon times with hideous amounts of Velcro to secure in your precious piggies. Yet with large openings for air to flow thru your feet to keep them fresh while letting in parasites and creepy crawlies.
All in all, a wanna bee hippie tree-hugging old man fad that must die

Dude whats with the granola shoes?

They are mere hiking sandals with mesh siding and leather straps, that i use for everyday activities to formal occasions. Oh and 10% of my purchase helped an independent company plant a tree in the amazon!--thus making them nongranola ie

granola shoes by yovanna July 3, 2008

Granola Sex 

It’s like normal sex but you eat a granola bar during it

“Just had granola sex with my boyfriend”
“Wow you’re so cool, I wish I could have granola sex”

Granola Sex by GayTrashCan February 22, 2022

granola smoker

Overly environmentally-conscious hippie. Usually with a beard. Tend to be liberals, or even communists if extreme.

Guy 1: Why is Jim's cupboard full of empty coke bottles?
Guy 2: He drinks out of those. He's a granola smoker

granola smoker by Nygma February 4, 2015

Granola Stomp 

The desire to or actually have sex with those who are "hippie" or "granola" even though they may not be your normal sexual tastes. Kombucha is usually involved.

Subarus, rock climbing, all natural or sporadic bathing habits, and a dash of B.O. are typical traits of these "granola" or "hippie" folk.

Usually a one time experimental experience.

I would totally granola stomp that chick.

I had a granola stomp last night.

Granola Stomp by a-letto March 19, 2021

Granola Stop 

When one is cockblocked by a vegan.

I was gonna try to score with that frat girl but that guy with the dreads and a hemp necklace granola stopped me.

Granola Stop by BigDamClay April 23, 2022

Granola Sunrise 

When you are having sex with someone from behind, pull out, and jizz in their hair without telling them about it. Then, in the morning when they wake up and run their fingers through their hair, and run into the crunchy, crusty, and clumpy mess, and say “what the hell is this”, you point and loudly yell “Granola Sunrise!!”

I gave my wife a Granola Sunrise last Saturday. Been sleeping in the garage ever since. Totally worth it.

Granola Sunrise by Distracted Cosmonaut June 9, 2024