A person with penises for eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the porn industry.
My friend Kevin once said to me, in a fit of drunken stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
by Killing Kittens October 20, 2004
That fuckface won't stop talking to me.
by Frannyizzle November 03, 2007
by Pelosi's rancid vajayjay May 28, 2010
a term of greeting or mock scolding when said to a friend, or a term expressing anger and spite when said to a stranger or one who is disliked
"Whassup, Fuckface!"
"You trumped my trick, Fuckface!?! Seven cards in your hand and you don't have a damn club?"
"Check your blindspot before changing lanes, Fuckface!"
"You trumped my trick, Fuckface!?! Seven cards in your hand and you don't have a damn club?"
"Check your blindspot before changing lanes, Fuckface!"
by jimhokie January 20, 2012
by ThePhonies May 09, 2010
A person who instantaneously pisses you off. The sight of their face gives you a strong urge to smash his/her face in until they cry.
by copke March 19, 2015