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fecal matter 

A word used to describe poop in a mature manner in the case that a small child voids feces from the bowels in a public pool, causing evacuation.
Attention, insert pool name here members and guests. Fecal matter has been discovered in the dive well. Please exit the pool while we decontaminate the area. Thank you.
fecal matter by Jesustits August 26, 2005
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fecal matter hits the rotary impeller 

Nice way of saying "shit hits the fan"
You know you're in trouble when the fecal matter hits the rotary impeller.

fecal matter excretion unit

A very intellectual word for an asshole fecal matter obviously being shit, with the excretion unit being the asshole.
I just squeezed a big log out of my fecal matter excretion unit.

fecal-matter-meter 

an imaginary device used to measure the amount of fecal matter on a person or object.
"that hobo is smoking a cigarette butt from the sidewalk. my fecal-matter-meter is beeping like crazy... i should probably turn it off during mardi gras."

Bovine Fecal Matter

Bovine, meaning something has qualities of an ox/cow; bull.
Fecal Matter, obviously is "poop".
When combined, it serves as a lovely way to say "Bullshit."

Also, an abbreviation (BFM) can be used.
Mom: "You're grounded. You should have cleaned your room before you went clubbing."

Me: "Mom, that is bovine fecal matter and you know it."

"Hey, did you hear our football team lost because the ref didn't pay attention? Total BFM."

Baby Jesus Fecal Matter 

The feeling one gets from eating too much sweet and sour chicken. The person feels like they have to give birth to "the baby Jesus" in fecal form.
"Man, after that Chinese I need to give birth to baby Jesus fecal matter."

bovine fecal matter

the clinical way of saying "bullshit"
Person A: "I don't lie, I always tell the truth"
RESPONSE: "that's that bovine fecal matter right there..."