The Calendar Option

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.

Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame

by Darren Besert November 16, 2015

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Calendar Shopping

Those times when you buy a new Calander before New Years. This is usually done a day or two after Christmas.

Person 1: Hey lets go Calendar Shopping. I need to get a new Calander before New Years.

Person 2: Aight. I'm gonna get me one of those FHM calandars.

by Dancing with Fire December 29, 2010

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calendar dump

When you ring in the New Year on the toilet with one final dump, cleansing yourself from the old and welcoming the new. Starts on December 31st shortly before midnight.

The ball drops in 10 minutes..I've still got time to squeeze out a calendar dump.

by C-Lo Brown May 04, 2017

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NNN Calendar

The NNN Calendar is a calendar revolving around NNN.

-Jizz January
-No Finger February
-Massive Masturbate March
-Ass Eating April
-Gay May
-Make It Jelly June
-Even More Jizz July
-Mass Ass August
-Semen Shooter September
-Orgi October
-No Nut November
-Destroy Dick December

"Are you attempting the NNN Calendar"

"Heck Yeah, my dick is going to suffer so much"

by SpikeyFluffBall November 07, 2019

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