captain one speed

person on drugs(crank)

that dude is a captain one speed.

by Jdub4200 December 27, 2008

Captain Jackswallows

A derogatory term for a faggot who has taken on the persona of the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow from those gay pirate movies.

(Southerner) "Hey whats with the monkey Captain Jackswallows?"

(Typical Yankee) "Shut up prick she's my girlfriend....racist."

by SweetDee! November 23, 2011

Captain Machine

a bozo who has the IQ of a peanut and cant seal the deal.
He thinks hes a good wrestler but in the end hes just a lame ass bum who took steriods to win. Captain Stretchy is the real champ. I am not Captain Stretchy

Hey you just killed a cute kitty. Good one Captain Machine!

by Captain Midget May 14, 2006

Solut the Captain

A shot of Absolut Vodka either mixed or chased with Captain Morgan spiced rum.

Man the fuck up and Solut the Captain!

by Arish A July 13, 2011

Captain Jackass

Phrase. Identifying. A individual who always gives "advice" or graces others with there "superior intellect" in a loud annoying way that is common sense(or should be) or has already been stated but now they will say it again in a different tone as if it was never heard or said (short term memory recall), this advice or information is usually given after something has been decided/discussed making the individual feel as though they solved everything and/or nothing would have been decided/done/gained hadnt they "spoken up" these individuals must always have the last word even days later and just a sound; Captain Jackass is not a nick name, this phrase is only use in the type of situation/moment it refers. Traditionally once the individual starts "the thing of it is" speech they are allowed to finish, making this phrase more appropriate as "stupid" doesnt know when to stop once they are pleased with themselves (or youve had enough)give them eye contact and firmly state "THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!!" Adding a "WELL" in front of the phrase to interrupt is optional; Hopefully there is room for reinforcing/retraining the simple minded brain that the knowledge they DO have is basic at best n adults are talking now, If not you have just learn a wonderful new phrase thats perfect when used properly every time!

1: Did you know if you stand in the road you could get hit by a car?.....Yah i know

2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...

1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!

1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you

3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....

by ScreenDoor-Junkie July 6, 2022

Captain Slaphappy

One who frequently masterbates

"Anyone seen john?" "Who? Captain Slaphappy?; probably off doing the deed"

by winterkyles January 4, 2013

Captain Planet Fart

When you fart with Wind, a little Earth, a lot of Fire, a little Water, and a lot of Heart.

Barbara ate curry last night and couldn't stop Captain Planet Farting.

by 2moist4u. November 3, 2024