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New Jersey Blumpkin Patch

When a person giving an upper deckie is receiving a blumpkin from another person taking a shit in the toilet.
Person 1: what you get up to last night?

Person 2: I walked in on Erik and Walter doing a New Jersey Blumpkin Patch in the upstairs bathroom at work.

Person 1: Not a NJBP!! That shit crazy!!!
by LazerCat July 17, 2025
mugGet the New Jersey Blumpkin Patchmug.

Jersey Bagel

When a guy rubs cream cheese all over his asshole and has a girl eat it off.
Last night I gave her the ol' Jersey Bagel.
by Muls May 30, 2021
mugGet the Jersey Bagelmug.

New Jersey

The most disgusting place in America.

Literally the armpit of this great nation; if the nation had heinous curry fueled armpit B.O. If you role down your window as you pass by the “Welcome to New Jersey” sign, you are smacked in the face with a putrid smell of New York’s garbage that Jersey removes for them. The worst drivers in the country; they drive like maniacs… probably because they are trying to escape the trash-boat state they were unfortunate enough to be born into.
Dan: “Hey Steve roll down the window I wanna smell that fresh New Jersey air”
Steve: “If you roll that window down I will fucking strike you in the liver… New Jersey smells like your Aunt Claudia’s vagine, Dan… worst state in the Union
by Bdflyfish May 9, 2022
mugGet the New Jerseymug.

New Jersey - Part 4

Part 4 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. We left off with the Jonas Brothers in our list of amazing famous people from NJ. We continue withDavid Copperfield, Donald Fagen, Jesse Eisenberg, Jim Miller, Dennis Rodman, Antonin Scallia, Amy Locane, E.J. Barthel, Vini Lopez, Bill Moyers, Anthony Stolarz, Allen Ginsburg, Gaetano Bresci, Larry Doby, Malcolm Forbes, Bruce Vilanch, THE HAPPY FITS (my second-favorite band), Katherine Renee Shindle, Lauren Schmetterling, Julie Anne Robbenhymer, Jessie Paege, Mark Blum, Cissy Houston, Gary Lewis, THE LIST. GOES. FUCKING. ON. We know what REAL pizza is, what a REAL bagel is, what a REAL TOMATO is. No, California doesn't have good tomatoes. Californian tomatoes are FUCKING BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S TOMATOES ARE BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S BAGELS.. THEY'RE FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOUR PIZZA?! I'll spell it out. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Except for our next door neighbor New York, you have good pizza. We'll give you that. Go to my profile for part 5 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same like 10 mins.
That is the end of New Jersey - Part 4 lol bitches
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
mugGet the New Jersey - Part 4mug.

New Jersey - Part 5

Here's Part 5 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. Go to my profile for previous. And you know what we made? CAMPBELLS'. FUCKING. SOUP. CAMPBELLS IS ARGUABLY THE BEST SOUP COMPANY IN THE ENTIRE NATION AND YOU KNOW THAT. We also have Wawas but I'm not sure if they're actually FROM NJ they might be a Pennsylvania or Connecticut thing. I'll go look it up. Yeah they're from PA but still we have a lot of wawas while you californians don't. And yes, we're the most dense. We're also in the top half of populous states (I think). If you live here you can go out to New York with your friends for your occasional good time. (However, the traffic on the turnpike can get big. Also always remember to take the HOLLAND tunnel. Lincoln tunnel sucks and it's irrelevant.) Despite having to pay a ridiculous toll fee, it's worth it. We've got one of the most dense cities in the US (Jersey City). Go to my profile for the last part part 6 it's up because i posted them all in the same 10 mins (i wrote the entire essay at once but then realized i couldn't post it so broke it up into parts after)
that's the end of New Jersey - Part 5
by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022
mugGet the New Jersey - Part 5mug.

New Jersey Velcro Snapper

When two people tangle their pubic hair together and proceed to pull away from each other as hard as possible, and whoever rips out the most hair from the other wins.
Jerry won the New Jersey Velcro Snapper against his wife, who is now bald in her lower half.
by HankerWanker October 21, 2025
mugGet the New Jersey Velcro Snappermug.

South Jersey Suck 'N Fuck

Using your fist, you prolapse your sexual partners anus, then give said prolapsed anus a blowy.
Fuck you bro, I gave your sister a good old fashioned South Jersey Suck 'N Fuck last night.
by Bbslimm January 4, 2021
mugGet the South Jersey Suck 'N Fuckmug.

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