by Definitely a human(lizard) May 17, 2022

Melbourne is a great place, has lots to do, great history, amazing public transport and is of course the birthplace of footy. Everything about Melbourne is great, including the people.
Except for the children.
In Melbourne, most twelve year old kids have already had sex, vaped, smoked, done drugs or whatnot. Melbourne is fucked.
I’m from Melbourne btw.
Except for the children.
In Melbourne, most twelve year old kids have already had sex, vaped, smoked, done drugs or whatnot. Melbourne is fucked.
I’m from Melbourne btw.
Chinese: wife we should move to melbourne!!!
Everybody from melbourne: don’t for your sake and ours.
Everybody from melbourne: don’t for your sake and ours.
by Chris Wilder November 9, 2021

The city that is better than sydney and everyone is only permitted to dress in black
You can experience 4 seasons in just under an hour!
Expect to find eshays at almost every train station, threatening you and trying to steal ur nike tns, and threatening to shank you.
You can experience 4 seasons in just under an hour!
Expect to find eshays at almost every train station, threatening you and trying to steal ur nike tns, and threatening to shank you.
Tourist: Wtf?!? It was 50°c two minutes ago!! How is it snowing!?! How is it snowing in Melbourne?!?
by MaxiTheTaxi January 9, 2024

We are Melbourners.
by Melbourner May 3, 2017

Non-Melbourne resident: There was a tropical storm five seconds ago. Why're there meteor showers?
Melbourne resident: Man, you can't trust the weather in Melbourne.
Melbourne resident: Man, you can't trust the weather in Melbourne.
by GOD DAMMITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT December 18, 2022

"A trip to Melbourne" or "doing a Melbourne" is a synonym for "I'm too scared to face my fears so I'm literally running away from them"
Guy 1: She totally missed out on our Ping Pong Championship
Guy 2: Is she doing a Melbourne?
Guy 1: Yea, she is totally doing a Melbourne!
Guy 2: Is she doing a Melbourne?
Guy 1: Yea, she is totally doing a Melbourne!
by tomlovesrob September 30, 2013

by notoliverbatson June 4, 2024
