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Ball Armour

Ball armour is chain mail which is set upon a ring that goes over the shaft of the penis and hangs at the base around its girth exuding a chain mail apron below to cover ones balls.
Ball armour is required around bitchy girlfriends/wives/fiancees who want to run your life into the ground and demand the right to call the shots on all sections of your life including who you are friends with, what you wear, what decor you have, what you can do on the weekend etc.
Once ball armour is secured in place behind outer garments these bitches are simultaneously muted. Though they may still rage around you even perhaps trying to spank you into some sort of submission they will actually now just be like a bad tv programme and no longer audible or able to physically harm.
Slowly they fade off scene and one realises that ball armour has again made life pleasant as you remember when life was simple easy and enjoyable and just be your unique joyful self.
Friends of Joe: Hey Joe we are going out on Saturday are you coming
Joe : I will have to run it past chick
Friends of Joe : So pussy whipped! You need ball armour
Joe : You don't know how she gets!!!! (Starts crying) WTF is ball armour????

Female platonic friend of Joe: Hey Joe how is your sore foot
Joe : Really bad thanx for asking
Female platonic friend of Joe: Thats too bad
Joe: Hey I have to get off the phone chick is about to cut my balls off for talking to you
Friends of Joe : So pussy whipped! You need ball armour
by wordfromyamumma January 29, 2014
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ball gang

when you and the homies staple each others balls together.
10/10 recomend

ball gang
by oofusdolufus March 4, 2022
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storm in the balls

I should have never had sex with that hooker and now I have Storm in the balls.
by xxxxxRCxxxxx November 20, 2007
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Balls Sackolini

2 girthy meatballs and a long spaghetti noodle forming a dick and balls
Dude, the cook gave you a balls sackolini
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COVID balls

When your scrotum has become so loose from constantly wearing sweatpants without underwear that lifelong wearers of briefs can now only wear boxers. Caused by the major lifestyle changes from the pandemic.
Example 1:
Becky: Why is your trashcan filled with underwear?
Adam: Pandemic's given me major COVID balls, they hang so low now that I had to replace my briefs with boxers.
Becky: Send pic

Example 2:
Doc: And cough
John: Cough cough
Doc: Hanging pretty loose huh? Recent change?
John: Yep, can't even wear briefs anymore
Doc: Must be COVID balls, my wife's got the COVID tits
John: Is there a cream for that?
by maxinsight19 May 12, 2021
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Master Balling

EX: Dude stop Master balling all the time.

EX2: I master balled to Pokemon Leafgreen yesterday.
by JING MIKE MOY January 21, 2014
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cactus balls

When it has been a few days since a man has shaved his scrotum and the hair has grown out becoming prickly.
"Last night my man wanted me to suck his nuts and I told him, 'No way, it is time to manscape again. So until you do, I ain't puttin your cactus balls in my mouth!'"
by stitchmata April 21, 2013
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