by fuzzynipples February 21, 2008
by ALCsurvivor May 23, 2016
The Dirt Man is a mythological entity familiar to North American culture. The origin of the myth is unknown, but it bears similarities to the familiar childhood myths like the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. Where these myths diverge is in perceived alignment, and the age demographic. The tooth fairy and Easter bunny are known to be positive, well-meaning entities whereas the dirt man is a negative, frightening one, and is believed in by many adult men.
The myth commonly tells of a dark and shadowy figure, often appearing as a middle-aged man dressed as a cowboy. The dirt man visits and invades the homes of single bachelors, that is to say men without romantic partners. When the dirt man comes to your bedside, he is said to check beneath your pillow for a material sacrifice in the form of dirt, clay, or soil. If the dirt man finds dirt beneath your pillow, he will leave the home, sometimes leaving behind mysterious dirty boot prints and the smell of fresh soil. If the unlucky bachelor, however, does not leave a sacrifice for the dirt man, it is believed that he will harm or abduct the bachelor. Physical harm from the dirt man comes in many forms, and commonly involves damage to a man's reproductive system. Men report awakening to see the dirt man staring at them in the dark of night, and in the following days experiencing new problems including but not limited to: erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, Epididymitis, and the shrinking of one or more testicles, or the scrotum.
The myth commonly tells of a dark and shadowy figure, often appearing as a middle-aged man dressed as a cowboy. The dirt man visits and invades the homes of single bachelors, that is to say men without romantic partners. When the dirt man comes to your bedside, he is said to check beneath your pillow for a material sacrifice in the form of dirt, clay, or soil. If the dirt man finds dirt beneath your pillow, he will leave the home, sometimes leaving behind mysterious dirty boot prints and the smell of fresh soil. If the unlucky bachelor, however, does not leave a sacrifice for the dirt man, it is believed that he will harm or abduct the bachelor. Physical harm from the dirt man comes in many forms, and commonly involves damage to a man's reproductive system. Men report awakening to see the dirt man staring at them in the dark of night, and in the following days experiencing new problems including but not limited to: erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, Epididymitis, and the shrinking of one or more testicles, or the scrotum.
"We're guys, we keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man, in case he comes to town. I keep a little dirt under the pillow for the dirt man, so he won't take me down to his lair."
by DefinitelyNotTheDirtMan May 30, 2024
A guy from Texas who started from nothing and had gained everything his heart desires. The Alter Ego for James Gary Sturm. If you are reading this, I told you I was gonna make it. And here’s my proof. Also, Gracie Danay Miller, I still love you.
by TheGreatZaZa June 29, 2023
by archmenases May 13, 2019
Dirt wipe is a gradeschool level insult that is the censored version of Ass Wipe often used by really young children or adults who can't (and/or) choose not to curse yet as a way of censoring the more vulgar version.
Amy: you know jake has really been a big dirt wipe today...
Jim: c'mon amy i know ya don't swear but don't ya want to use Ass Wipe sometimes?
Jim: c'mon amy i know ya don't swear but don't ya want to use Ass Wipe sometimes?
by Clocksisweird December 15, 2019
Aaron: I can’t talk right now, building a dirt bridge.
James: Can you stop playing Minecraft for just one second?
Aaron: No, I am taking a hefty shit right now, please hold.
James: Can you stop playing Minecraft for just one second?
Aaron: No, I am taking a hefty shit right now, please hold.
by Verakk December 17, 2019