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January Christmas

Dad is very sorry but his paycheck for the last job won’t come in until January so we won’t have gifts on Dec. 25. They’ll be just a few weeks late I promise.
<Late December>
8yo Me: Dad, you’re so late. I missed you.

Best dad ever: I missed you too. Just trying to get this job done so I’ve been working late.

Me: but you won’t have to work Christmas like last year will ya?
BDE: No, son, I’ll be here. But since I didn’t finish the job I won’t get paid before Xmas. But I’ll get paid in a few weeks and we’ll celebrate then. Well just have a January Christmas. Ok?
Me: that’s fine dad. I understand.
by !JayAm! December 13, 2021
mugGet the January Christmasmug.

on the first day of christmas

on the first day of christmas,
my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
by xdr5t3evq3q December 15, 2023
mugGet the on the first day of christmasmug.

Brown Christmas

When you take a long tapered shit on Christmas morning that, upon pre-flush reflection, looks exactly like a miniature Christmas tree.
After eating all that Chinese food last night, I shat a brown christmas right before the dawn.
by Smegmid December 24, 2023
mugGet the Brown Christmasmug.

Christmas pudding

Spunking over a solid poo.

Poo = pudding
Spunk = icing on top
Example: Steve, did you just go for a Christmas pudding?
by SEOMyers October 28, 2021
mugGet the Christmas puddingmug.

Sprinkled Christmas Cookie

Noun. What you call a woman after a man busts a nut on her face and immediately throws a handful of red and green sprinkles at her thus sticking to the semen icing.
Luckily the baking decorations were nearby so right when I shot a rope from her forehead to her chin I was able to turn the bitch into a Sprinkled Christmas Cookie.
by BuffaloDP December 21, 2022
mugGet the Sprinkled Christmas Cookiemug.

put up christmas tree day

In the day of November 12th you are to put up your christmas tree
put up christmas tree day is a ray on november 12th to put up your christmas tree
by christmas geek November 11, 2020
mugGet the put up christmas tree daymug.

The Christmas Fallacy

Your boss's belief that, no matter how much work there is to be done, it will all be finished before the Christmas holidays so "we can start next year with a clean slate." See also "work smarter not harder."
"This is a joke. We'll never get it done before Christmas."

"Yeah, I know. The Christmas Fallacy. Fancy a beer?"
by gav-wan December 2, 2021
mugGet the The Christmas Fallacymug.

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