n. either a literal or figurative erection brought forth by an extremely anxious or suspenseful event. Often accompanied by extreme tenseness and frustration.
Poststress boner symptoms include immediate acceptance and relief.
I've got a thousand on Miami and we're down by 2 with 4 seconds in the fourth, what a fuckin stress boner.
Next in line for an oral presentation.
Meeting the girlfriends parents for the first time.
Jenga and anything delicate that requires careful handling.
Already late for work and hit traffic, railroad crossing, or drawbridge.
(n) An erection experienced after the blood lust of engaging in heavy combat and emerging victorious against a far inferior force. The stiffness and duration is directly proportional to the size of the enemy force destroyed and is often used by historians as a measure of the scope of the defeat suffered by the losing side.
After blowing up an entire column of enemy tanks, the pilot of the A-10 climbed out of his jet sporting a raging battle boner so hard and long he was at risk of suffering permanent damage.