tara carpenter

a badass who can literally take my children <33
"tara is overrated, blah blah blah." - a dumb human figure
"tara carpenter is a cool human being" - a fucking awesome person.
by 5cy7h3 August 27, 2023
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The Angry Carpenter

The Angry Carpenter - Tie your girlfriend to a workbench and proceed to use sandpaper upon her Vagina, once smooth feel free to have sex with the bloody remains
Poor mrs Jamison, she died from The Angry Carpenter.
she was such a good teacher. Damn sandpaper is rough.
by The Comic November 06, 2012
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alfie carpenter

A person who is almost in every way perfect and is quite intelligent. Alfie carpenter is usually very likeable and is a very trust worthy person
Hey you know Alfie carpenter, who’s such a good friend
by OnlyUKknows November 19, 2018
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Leaking Carpenter

When you Power Nut in your girl then have her fix the bed frame without letting her clean up herself, causing your baby batter to leak down her leg.
Roommate 1: So you guys gonna buy a new bed frame after that Power Nut?
Roommate 2: Nah man, my girl became a Leaking Carpenter and fixed it up quick.
by ZairStorm December 07, 2019
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Carpenter’s dozen

The hardware store sells a box of nails by the carpenter’s dozen.
by Joe Hardwick May 18, 2018
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The Carpenter Effect

When a person or persons find themselves inexplicably drawn either a trilby, glasses a scarf or all of the above. This person will then want to molest everything that moves. A known symptom of the Carpenter effect also includes blaring classical music from hidden speakers around your body, some may also find themselves compelled to provide a 'tuneful' accompaniment. They will look a bit silly.
"Did you see Taylor Momsen the other day?"
"Yeah she was suffering from 'The Carpenter Effect'!"
by DuckmanThesecond July 09, 2013
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