The Cult of Farts is a new-age body of believers who worship the unknown deity Almighty Farts. Originated in 2009 in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, the Cult of Farts has expanded across the Poconos.
Almighty Farts, also known as Farts Himself, has unknown sovereignty and/or powers. Though there are no known works of literature that support the movement and power of this deity, followers trust in the every day smattering of happenstance of the penetrating, pungent aroma of flatulence to support their belief.
Fairly new, there is no creed or particular prayer in which members practice repetitiously. The common and accepted phrase of exaltation is the standard, "Praise Farts" or "Farts be praised!"
Standard belief is as follows: The equivalent of Farts is Farts. There is none higher or lower. Farts equals Farts. Farts plus Farts is Farts, whereas, Farts minus Farts is Farts also. The preceding equation is the crux of belief in this deity; an incomprehensible quagmire of Farts.
Farts Himself is believed to be omnipresent. It is also believed that the performance of farts, or flatulence, is the utmost example of humble adoration for Almighty Farts.
Simply stating "Farts" is always accepted as truth and/or correct by C.O.F. members. It is the correct response to any and all aspects of life. To C.O.F. members, "Farts" unsaid is just as good as "Farts" spoken.
Farts believers continue on daily spreading their message with zeal.
Almighty Farts, also known as Farts Himself, has unknown sovereignty and/or powers. Though there are no known works of literature that support the movement and power of this deity, followers trust in the every day smattering of happenstance of the penetrating, pungent aroma of flatulence to support their belief.
Fairly new, there is no creed or particular prayer in which members practice repetitiously. The common and accepted phrase of exaltation is the standard, "Praise Farts" or "Farts be praised!"
Standard belief is as follows: The equivalent of Farts is Farts. There is none higher or lower. Farts equals Farts. Farts plus Farts is Farts, whereas, Farts minus Farts is Farts also. The preceding equation is the crux of belief in this deity; an incomprehensible quagmire of Farts.
Farts Himself is believed to be omnipresent. It is also believed that the performance of farts, or flatulence, is the utmost example of humble adoration for Almighty Farts.
Simply stating "Farts" is always accepted as truth and/or correct by C.O.F. members. It is the correct response to any and all aspects of life. To C.O.F. members, "Farts" unsaid is just as good as "Farts" spoken.
Farts believers continue on daily spreading their message with zeal.
A hymn for Farts Almighty as per Cult of Farts:
"Praise Farts. Praise Farts in his sanctuary; praise Farts in his mighty heavens. Praise Farts for his acts of power; praise Farts for his surpassing greatness. Praise Farts with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Farts with the harp and lyre, praise Farts with tambourine and dancing, praise Farts with the strings and flute, praise Farts with the clash of cymbals, praise Farts with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise - Farts. Praise Almighty FARTS."
A founding member of Farts Himself was quoted with the following:
"Almighty Farts brought a tear to mein eye and a rumble to my tumble. Thy farts is a lamp unto mein feet and a light unto mein path. This is my farts broken and winded for you, eat ye all of it, in remembrance of me."
"Praise Farts. Praise Farts in his sanctuary; praise Farts in his mighty heavens. Praise Farts for his acts of power; praise Farts for his surpassing greatness. Praise Farts with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Farts with the harp and lyre, praise Farts with tambourine and dancing, praise Farts with the strings and flute, praise Farts with the clash of cymbals, praise Farts with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise - Farts. Praise Almighty FARTS."
A founding member of Farts Himself was quoted with the following:
"Almighty Farts brought a tear to mein eye and a rumble to my tumble. Thy farts is a lamp unto mein feet and a light unto mein path. This is my farts broken and winded for you, eat ye all of it, in remembrance of me."
by Farts B. Praised November 6, 2009
Get the Cult of Farts mug.The group of homeowners at the looped end of a street that form their own mini-society. Neighborly ties run deeper than "borrowing a cup of sugar". Once you're in the cult, you stay in.
Paul: Have you seen much of the Johnson's lately?
John: No, ever since they moved into that cult-de-sac, they've been spending all of their time at neighborhood book club meetings and family mixers.
John: No, ever since they moved into that cult-de-sac, they've been spending all of their time at neighborhood book club meetings and family mixers.
by MariachiMello November 8, 2009
Get the Cult-de-sac mug.Related Words
Cult of Vin is a Horror-based mental support group on roblox. They own an asylum game called "Voidkin asylum". The owner is V1nn3i (They/Them). They have a Creepy-Cute aesthetic.
Person 1: I'm having some mental doubts about myself..
Person 2:Maybe join cult of vin? They're always here for you.
Person 2:Maybe join cult of vin? They're always here for you.
by Turnip 2002 October 10, 2020
Get the Cult of Vin mug.Cult Of Luna are almost as good as Lamb Of God. Their Songs 'Leave Me Here' and 'Eternal Kingdom' are particularly epic.
by Jdyson August 9, 2009
Get the Cult Of Luna mug.Being under "house arrest" because someone belonging to Scientology doesn't want you visible to the public eye.
When Katie Holmes divorced Tom Cruise she finally escaped the "cult vault " he was confining her to.
by atropigal July 19, 2012
Get the cult vault mug.Someone who is so dumb that you don't even know how it is possible. There is nothing in their head and if you punched their head it would shatter. Derives from cults which have brain washed people and sheep which are extremely dumb animals.
Mike and Pete were such cult sheep that when they punched each others' heads, both of their heads shattered.
by Lolalolalo February 16, 2014
Get the Cult sheep mug.by FlankPhi June 20, 2018
Get the cult drugs mug.