Chris: You know who else has red hair and snores like a motorcycle
Mango: Who?
Chris: DAVE'S MOM!!!!
I love Dave's Mom
Mango: Who?
Chris: DAVE'S MOM!!!!
I love Dave's Mom
by MangoDefines May 3, 2022
Get the Dave's Mom mug.by John3Doe January 27, 2019
Get the Ricky's Mom mug.A white suburban mom, from 25 to 50 who refers to her kids as her “Precious Little Angels”, and shields them from reality constantly. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated over PG-13, and they can fuckin forget about watching any R-rated movies. Also not allowed to play any games not rated E. Also not allowed to interact with “the wrong crowd”. This includes, but is not limited to, anyone who isn’t white, anyone who isn’t a fundamentalist Christian, and anyone who doesn’t believe in right-wing bullshit. Also she automatically assumes that anything that isn’t Christian is either atheist or Satanic. She drives a “safe” 45 in a 70 mile per hour zone in her massive minivan or SUV to protect her “Precious Little Angels”, who are still in rear-facing carseats at ages 10 and 12. Usually also a Karen. Will often call the police when something doesn’t go her way or to discipline kids other than her own, and more often than not the cops are on this bitch’s side. If you see her, RUN AWAY AND GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS POSSIBLE.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? YOU WERE DRIVING FUCKING 45 ON A FUCKING HIGHWAY!
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!
SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!
SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)
by qw3r1y March 2, 2023
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by christianissussypoopoo July 28, 2021
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Alcoholic beverages marketed toward older women that are neither wine nor hard liquor. Typically the packaging connotes simplicity or health, and includes pictures of fruit whether or not it is detectable in the taste.
by daisha September 5, 2019
Get the mom beer mug.A marblehead mom is a woman who resides in the wealthy town of marblehead. While they may seem nice on the outside, they are very judgemental creatures on the inside. They spend thousands of dollars on private schools for their kids, go to yoga almost every day, and spends a ton of money on shoes, coffee, and just about everything else, even though they don't have a job.
-Did hear those women gossiping at yoga today? They must be marblehead moms.
-I was waiting in line at Starbucks when the {marblehead mom in front of me got mad at the barista because she didn't spell her name correctly.
-I was waiting in line at Starbucks when the {marblehead mom in front of me got mad at the barista because she didn't spell her name correctly.
by Diane White April 10, 2019
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