Captain Machine

a bozo who has the IQ of a peanut and cant seal the deal.
He thinks hes a good wrestler but in the end hes just a lame ass bum who took steriods to win. Captain Stretchy is the real champ. I am not Captain Stretchy

Hey you just killed a cute kitty. Good one Captain Machine!

by Captain Midget May 14, 2006

take the machine

to look information up using a computer (for instance the internet)

I didn't know your address so I took the machine.

We need directions to the store. Can you take the machine?

Take the machine to find a map so we can find our way around Salzburg.

by Pajek April 27, 2006

female drum machine

When you use drumsticks to hit a girls body part

Thomas: Yo I just got a female drum machine in my house. It sounds so awesome and satisfying
John: what do you mean
Thomas: so if I hit her boobs with my drumstick it will make a squishy sound if I hit her in the ass it will make a bass drum sound if hit her in the the stomach it will make a snare drum sound.
John: damn I wish I had one

by Fireguy47 September 4, 2018

Simple Machine

A simple machine

A glue is a simple machine.

by Eddy375623 January 16, 2019

Vending Machine

Something that the US military drops to the children of Afghanistan. It usually ends up killing thousands of children each year, which many Americans agree with.

Ex: "Hey David, gonna donate anything to the military this year?"
"I don't know, Bill. Maybe my vending machine! I hear they drop them on children in Afghanistan. Sounds like a great policy!"
"Hahaha!"

by Gregthisiswhywehateyou3 September 14, 2018

Yum Yum Machine

Is a word for coffee after you put water through the coffee maker

Person 1: I put water the yum yum machine
Person 2: Oh, cool what is it
Person 1: Caffine
Person 2: oh my gosh my turn!

by _miraculous.girl_ March 25, 2021

Machine of Death

A machine that tells how you’re gonna die, usually ironically.

Hey did you see my death card from the Machine of Death?

by Pseudonymoushits June 24, 2023