like the oxford theory but instead of white men or white women its south asian men or women. a chinese girl and a indian guy would be considered kumon theory. its called kumon because of the shared trauma of kumon
by fuhmybigchuguslife November 22, 2025
Get the Kumon theory mug.The pseudoscientific belief that every catastrophic fuck-up in a man’s life can be traced back to one single, glorious nut he should’ve never busted.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
Example:
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
by MinotDUIDrifter October 30, 2025
Get the Nutsakeum Theory mug.If one person in a relationship really likes bread and the other dosen't, it's a really good sign the relationship will go places. If both parties like bread or dislike bread there is a great possibility it won't go as well.
Meghan: I love bread
Shawn: I hate bread
Tomás: due to the Bread theory they are perfect for eachother
Shawn: I hate bread
Tomás: due to the Bread theory they are perfect for eachother
by Nicheis October 16, 2023
Get the Bread Theory mug.the theory is that certain times of the day go by slower or faster than others even though they’re the same amount of hours..example, 7 am to 8 am goes by faster than 10 am to 11 am.
boy 1: woah dude it’s already 8:45?
boy 2: dude last time i checked it was 7:15
boy 1: it’s sam r’s theory!!!
boy 2: dude last time i checked it was 7:15
boy 1: it’s sam r’s theory!!!
by kittyluver22 March 18, 2022
Get the sam r’s theory mug.The concept that, in any given conversation about the price of warhammer models, someone will say "printer go brr" or some other statement about their use of a 3d printer.
"Wow these models are really expensive! $75 for 100 points!"
"Printer go brrr."
"Ah, classic printer theory."
"Printer go brrr."
"Ah, classic printer theory."
by danceinthewind March 17, 2022
Get the Printer Theory mug.by Fffffffffffffffr December 8, 2023
Get the Stiven theory mug.when drinking at Red’s, the bar on the sacred heart university campus, you get extremely drunk off of very few drinks. This theory has many witnesses to its validity, however there should be more testing as to why it happens to prove that it may be true.
by shustudent1 October 5, 2021
Get the red’s theory mug.