Raging Heterosexual

Raging Heterosexual, n. (technically a Tatpurusa compund)-Someone whose heterosexuality so deeply transcends the typical thoughts and behaviors of his or her peers that this person feels no need to mimic the traditional patterns of heterosexuality as defined in society; such patterns include making out, hitting on, or grinding with one or member of the opposite sex. Normally this person's raging heterosexuality is a problem for every member of the opposite sex nearby since these members can feel the profoundest of Bacchanal desire for this person. Were it not for the immense concentration of the raging heterosexual to control this power, all of these members would begin to perform the absurdest of acts, the least of which have included doing cartwheels in waltz time in front of fraternity houses, or devouring hundreds of bananas over the course of four hours while wearing a Dracula costume. Thankfully, the number of raging heterosexuals in the world appears to be few, although, as of September 9th, 2011, at least one raging heterosexual has identified himself in the greater Boston area.

Jan: Hey Jack, is there a reason you won't dance or make out with any of the 10+ girls who are fawning over your every movement?
Jack: It's probably because I'm a raging heterosexual and I don't feel like dancing with any girls. Plus I'm in a bromance with Jon, Graham, and Carlato, and I would rather grind on one or more of them right now.

by KingFunk'sFriend in liuwetrust September 9, 2011

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