A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.
by NotTimothyDalton October 19, 2016

This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....
Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019

A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.
911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022

Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
by A Time Walker September 3, 2013

-an individual who finds joy in sucking the joy from others.
-someone who sucks the joy away, as if taking the joy away from relieving yourself by pooping.
-to call someone a turd burglar means they ruin any enjoyable moment all the time.
-someone who sucks the joy away, as if taking the joy away from relieving yourself by pooping.
-to call someone a turd burglar means they ruin any enjoyable moment all the time.
All i wanted to do was enjoy a peaceful break from work, but my boss kept walking around the office. He's such a turd burglar.
by Bradgehog November 5, 2013

"Baxter!...quit being a turd burglar and leave them rabbit turds alone. You better give mama kisses first with that breath!" 🤭
by YOU DONT SAY June 27, 2025

a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).
by eminemanemone December 13, 2018
