cum-shot distance envy

cum-shot distance envy is the feeling short-shooters have for guys who can blow their load at least their height or farther.

A lot of my fellow cadets have cum-shot distance envy because they can't shoot their cum 7' like I can!

by eda-skip October 7, 2021

distance bomb

When someone you know for a very long time suddenly says
that they are going to move real far away, like Crapville
Arkansas even though you live in Seattle. Usualy causes great
hearache in the person who is left behind.

"That woman really dropped the distance bomb on that poor guy
saying that she is going to move halfway across the world

by blinkingblythe April 14, 2007

Rectilinear distance

The gayest distance between any two points on a grid.

Josh: Hey what's the rectilinear distance from here to Taco Bell?
Andy: Shut up, fag.

by superjoe30 September 25, 2009

Hard on piss distance

Approximately the distance an arc of urine would make if it were coming from an erect penis.

He stumbled out of the bar and managed to make it about a hard on piss distance before falling flat onto his face.

by Snailboy April 22, 2010

long distance bandwagon fan

A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.

They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.

Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.

LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>

by klopek007 January 24, 2010

Distance Thug

1. A person that is a coward in real life, but gathers courage from behind the safety of a computer, phone, or through e-mail. 2. Hackers, spammers, scam artist that take advantage of the Internet to cause harm to others from a distance.

Man, some Distance Thug hacked into my bank account! I wish that little bitch was in front of me right now! I would beat him so badly that he will be crippled for the next 10 lifetimes!

by the2ndflood November 22, 2007

Distance Singing

This activity requires two or more people (or just yourself if you are feeling daring). Distance singing consists of bellowing song lyrics from a distance (both close or afar). You have successfully achieved distance singing if you gain very concerned looks from members of the public or if citizens burst into song with you like an episode of Glee or High School Musical.

Person 1: DON'T STOP

Person 2: BELIEVING

Both: HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING

Person 3: Bro, quit distance singing!

by Mollie&Niamh July 27, 2014