Advice or wisdom passed that offers little or no value to a situation. Typically based on common knowledge that is skewed based on ignorance, or a similar isolated past situation that occurred in a third party's life that has nothing to do with the current situation.
"Cara hasn't called for like 3 hours."
"Dude, she's fucking someone else, probably one of your friends or a close relative. Maybe even one of your teachers from high school"
"Uh, how can you tell that?"
"Totally happened to my cousin's friend, the one that works over at Public Storage."
"What kind of fortune cookie bullshit is that? You're an asshole, my friend."
"Dude, she's fucking someone else, probably one of your friends or a close relative. Maybe even one of your teachers from high school"
"Uh, how can you tell that?"
"Totally happened to my cousin's friend, the one that works over at Public Storage."
"What kind of fortune cookie bullshit is that? You're an asshole, my friend."
by Matt Kish January 20, 2009
to have sex with an asian girl
by Robert Richards September 30, 2007
When you squeeze two big folds of skin together on a really really fat chick and use it instead of her pussy to drop your load. Then, when you are finished, you grab the two big folds of skin and pull them open while making a noise like you are cracking a fortune cookie. You then say "Lookie Lookie there's a fortune in the cookie" (while saying this, you are using your finger to push your jizz into a little pool) Then you say " It say "Cream of SumYoungGuy feel no good in your eye" and scoop up your jizz and throw it in her eye before running out.
by Magooru November 4, 2010
"I finally went out with that Asian chick and by the end of the night, I was waist deep in fortune!"
by teenez69er July 10, 2012
When you squeeze two big folds of skin together on a really really fat chick and use it instead of her pussy to drop your load. Then, when you are finished, you grab the two big folds of skin and pull them open while making a noise like you are cracking a fortune cookie. You then say "Lookie Lookie there's a fortune in the cookie" (while saying this, you are using your finger to push your jizz into a little pool) Then you say " It say "Cream of SumYoungGuy feel no good in your eye" and scoop up your jizz and throw it in her eye before running out.
by Magooru November 4, 2010
by Frank the Tank October 29, 2004
The series of fortunate events will occur when Lemony Snicket has a good day and decides to write about it.
Joe: Did you hear that Lemony Snicket is writing a new series?
Billy: Really? What is it called?
Joe: The Series of Fortunate Events. I guess he finally had a good day.
Billy: Really? What is it called?
Joe: The Series of Fortunate Events. I guess he finally had a good day.
by JGator8 September 2, 2010