Chocolate Jesus

A formed chocolate bar in the shape of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

I gave that self rightious preachy fat bitch a chocolate Jesus for Christmas. She loved it and then ate Christ's head.

by [e-mail] December 24, 2004

Jesus Christ

An exclamation gemerally used to express anguish or dismay.

Jim: Some mo fo just keyed your ride dude !
Bob: JESUS CHRIST ! !

or

In poker your straight loses to a full house and you exclaim JESUS CHRIST ! !

by MDog221 July 15, 2006

Jesus sandals

When a grown man with a beard wear a pair of leather flip flops

(Man) Hey check out my new sandals honey

(Wife) you mean jesus sandals

by Funnyguy32 February 28, 2016

Jesus Chillers

Also referred to as "JC's"

1- Freakishly comfortable flip-flops, or throwback style moccasin type footwear that one wears when bummin' it. (Like the stuff they wore in biblical days)

2- That group of motivated religious types which inhabit every college campus, have weekly meetings under the same shade tree, and attempt to lure in unsuspecting students at the nearby soda machines.

AFTER A LONG NIGHT:

Skyler: "Yo kev, lets hit up some brunch"
Kevin: "Cool, lemme get down on my Jesus chillers"
Skyler: "tight"

by SDGofNEWPORT January 6, 2009

Jesus Ortiz

A very charming yet serious fellow, has a few laughs now and then, has a very big appetite could swallow a whole town if it was possible yet very gentle wouldn't kill a fly. if this type of guy is not talking then there is a slight hum coming from him that sounds like Mexican or metal music. Anybody can get along with this person of they know how to take jokes and have a huge appetite.

Billy: look at that guy he is mostly serious among everyone except his gf now look at him laugh.

John: that must be a jesus ortiz!

by senora pansona November 8, 2011

Cabbage jesus

A overweight cunt who is full of life and loves to joke around with anyone. He loves to make friends and will even share his lunch with you. He will go out of his way for anyone!

Bro 1: did u just see that guy? he just gave the homeless family 100 dollars!
Bro 2: yeah! he always does that his name is cabbage jesus..
Bro 1: what a mad cunt we should meet him sometime..

Bro 2: hell yeah!

by Cabbage jesus May 12, 2019

evil jesus

Evil Jesus is a nickname for the infamous E+J Brandy, everyone's favorite bum liquor of choice! Dirt cheap and 80 proof, this is what the dead beats living on the streets drink, and is also favored amongst generally income-limited folks such as most of those in NJ and rappers trying to make it this day in age.

"Swallow a bottle of that ol' Evil Jesus"
- TMFSE

"Told me to bring a sack o' yak and a flask of Easy (Evil) Jesus, cuz he needed somebody to talk to the trees wit'"
-GDP

by Brixton Malinger December 11, 2013