Dark Reader

An extensions for pussies who cannot even glance at a light surface.

"Ayo you should get dark reader man."
"Nah I'm not fucking light sensitive like yo stupid dog ass."

by WitheredRevelation January 31, 2021

guardian reader

A person who reads a statement in the morning and preaches by the afternoon

Luke Skywalker knows nothing of the force in the morning, meets Obi Wan, learns a bit about the force. Thinks he's a jedi by tea time. Such a guardian reader!

by Gavgav86 September 11, 2020

Readers

Old enough to see well enough until it comes down to smaller print

I need my readers to see the temp & time these frozen fries need to be cooked.

by anonymous September 26, 2020

right-hand reader

An OCD-impaired bookworm who stubbornly keeps his gaze straight ahead when turning a page, and so he reads the right-hand side of the open book first, before reluctantly redirecting his gaze to the left-hand page.

Being a right-hand reader maybe be okay for a tome that has a separate item or article on each page (like a "Jim and Tim Talk Duct Tape" book or a "Choose Your Own Adventure" missive) and therefore may not have to be read in "progressive" order (i.e., from one page to the next) to make sense, but it can be exceedingly problematic for a "standard" essay that "flows forwards" through the entire book; attempting to be informed or entertained by reading this type of work's pages "out of order" can be very confusing.

by QuacksO October 17, 2019

Diddy’s Card Reader

When an man takes a whole bottle of (preferably used in Diddy’s card reader before) baby oil and puts it all over a girls pussy opening and then proceeds to swipe a credit card along the pussy (might be some cuts) until climax. The man keeps going until the woman fills up the entire bottle of baby oil with squirt, ready to be used again.

Los I’m gonna Diddy’s card reader you until you fill up Diddy’s whole collection of baby oil.

by Los’ Daddy June 27, 2025

Reader's coma

When you finish a book that had you completely absorbed, and you’re left so mentally drained and oddly incomplete that now you don't know how to go about your life and end up staring at a wall

Reader's coma hit me so hard, it left me in my rotting era!

by Garfield's 3rd cousin September 16, 2025

said the mind reader

A phrase to add on to a sentence when you're not sure what else to say.

My weekend was great...*awkward silence* said the mind reader.

by persononacouch December 21, 2022