JOOSED

When one shakes their penis at someone for no reason at all, other than to let them know that they in fact have a penis and are not afraid to use it. The majority of the time the "JOOSER" is under the influence of excessive amounts of alcohol, and most likely will not remember in the morning.
Anthony got so drunk last night he JOOSED the girl at the bar.
by triktrik January 25, 2015
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joose

crack in a can. you can pretty much commit a crime, and if your drinking joose you WILL get away with it!
when these girls drink joose they think they can fly
by blondebitch12586 June 17, 2010
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joosed

Receiving an alcohol enema. The alcohol can be of any variety, but it is more commonly known as "joosed" due to the popularity of receiving the enema with the flavored/caffeinated malt beverage, "Joose".

The effervescence of the "joosing" is thought to increase the alcohol absorption into the bloodstream (over other non-carbonated alcohol enemas with the same alcohol percentage).

The enema is administered via a joose-bag or common drug-store enema (see Fleet Enema for an example). The joose bag resembles a pastry bag and has multiple joose nozzles that can be swapped out for varying levels of pleasure and experience. Additionally, it is recommended that when sharing a joose bag between two or more individuals, a separate nozzle (or bag) should be used per recipient.

The bag is filled with the alcoholic beverage, while keeping one finger under the tip of the nozzle. The open end is then folded over and sealed tight.

The recipient must then remove their pants and undergarments and recline in either a horizontal or angled position to position the rectum as north as possible.

A second individual will then administer the joosing. (Experienced joosers will be able to administer their own with practice.) The recipient must then remain in an anus-northward position until it is time to "pull the ripcord," or release the alcohol from his/her anus.

If the alcoholic beverage is of a lower alcohol percentage, the recipient may then choose to be plugged with a silicone "cork" or joose plug. The recipient can then be mobile until the "ripcord" is pulled.

More information can be found here (section 5):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enema

Joosing is extremely dangerous, and many people have died from alcohol poisoning from it. It is NOT recommended that anyone practice this form of alcohol consumption.

Please see the 2007 Darwin Award winner:
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html
Damn! Me and the boys went out last night and got straight joosed in the ass! That old dude hooked us up proper with joose-bags and nozzles for us all!
by Leeroy Jenkem February 24, 2009
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Joose

An absolutely pointless combination of a stimulant and a depressant.
The upper in Joose says "let's speed up!" The downer says "no, let's slow down!" And your heart says "Hm, let me stop for a minute and think about it..."
by AndyRSC October 24, 2010
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joosed

being ripped off or stolen from physically (money) or emotionally. Stingy
Garrett joosed segal when he wouldn't pay for lunch
by Segal January 17, 2005
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joose

Government warning,... may cause pregnant wemon to have mixed race babies unknowiningly. and if you drink more than 1 of the joose it will cause you to climb onto a picknick table and have intercourse the umberella hole in the middle of the table in day light, it will cause unexplained sneakiness, resulting in the rare but known "sneaky steve" causing you to have sneaky intercourse in the anus......twice!!!!!!!
This one time at band camp, whilst drinking joose around the campfire and making smores, I unknowingly ventured into sneaky steve's cabin. He was wearing only a ski mask and a pair of socks while he was pinching his nipples and putting lotion on his skin he was fucking a white bitch from behind and then 9 months later the baby came out looking like a piece of charcoal!
by rj belvines March 31, 2008
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tastes better than four loko to people at times, but because four loko is more flavourable and tastes better depending on what taste you're in the mood for at the time, and gets you drunker you'll usually drink it instead.

but you'll drink joose before you drink four loko if you're new to malt liquor, because four loko has more alcohol content but joose is pretty high as well. you will most likely take your clothes off atleast once when drinking this stuff. you may do so if you drink four lokos as well.

beware, be careful, shit gets you drunk. it's cheap. sweet.
"i went skinny dipping in the pool again..."
"what the hell were you drinking?!"
"well the first time it was joose, but this time i drank a four loko..."
"ahahahaha"
by p333h0lez October 16, 2009
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