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Derek

Derek's can not be trusted. They are notorious for lying, cheating and hurting anyone who is foolish enough to care.
by Regrettably July 6, 2011
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Derek

An obese man who;

1. secretly wants to learn how to pole dance.
2. says LAWL all the time.
3. crys in corners and eats sunblock and mosquito repellent when feels sad.
4. is retarded, derderder.
It that derek? He's so derderder!

Oh look derek is in the corner eating sunblock again.
by derderderderderderderderder December 6, 2010
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DEREK

A word derrived from a comical pronunciation of the word: dick. Pronounced with cocked head, upthrust neck and clenched vocal chords the word is best separated into it's component syllables to give the impression of saying:

"DE-EH-RE-EH-EK"

For emphasis, the word may be said at the speed required to provide maximum comedic value. For example, when participating in a DBA or Drive by Abuse one would shorten the pronunciation to ensure the intended victim received the full impact of the word. At the other end of the scale, the slower and fuller pronunciation would most likely be used as a greeting and mechanism to provide a mocking platform in the event of performing a stupid act worthy of the monika "DEREK".

Whereas pronunciation carries the majority of the word's meaning, it is not the entirety of the word's value. The word can be used to greet, bid adeui, mock, celebrate, reference or replace other key words in a sentence. See below for usage examples.
The telephone greeting (often used as a comic relief in an otherwise potentially dull answerphone message):

"I say, is that DE-EH-RE-EH-EK?!"

The passing in the street:

"Look over there, isn't that Derek kicking it old school?
Hey you! Derek! How the derek are you doing old chap?"

The DBA:

/acceleration of car to suitable speed
DEREK! <compressed to ensure accurate delivery>

The morning call to arms, accompanied by an upward stretch and rigorous scratching of the bollocks

/repeated stretching
"DEEEEE-EEEEEEEHHHH-RREEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEK ohbloodyhell"
/continued scrotal jiggling

The conveyance of dismay or anger at another person's idiocy:

"Did you see what that pillock did the other night? He was acting like a total derek, I mean really just how much of a derek does that derek want to be? Derek. DEREK!"

Recently used as a replacement for any word in a sentence, which in the same way that fictional cartoon characters The Smurfs do:

"Did you give that shady lass a good dereking last night mate? Or did she derek the pants off you?"

Or:

"I was driving my derek down the derek, and some total DE-EH-RE-EH-EK pulled out right in front of my derek causing me to derek all over the road. Dereks were looking at me left right and derek, I felt like a such a derek. I tell you, never in all my days have I wanted to derek someone into total derekdom so much. Derek."
by randal24 March 24, 2007
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Derek

Some who is always scared and can never get a girl friend. They are also terrible at Fortnite.
That Derek kid is so bad at Fortnite.
by Fortnite rarer November 27, 2018
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Derek

A stupid person who is bad at fortnite and eats with his mouth open. Does not comprehend common sense but is known as a rat.
Dam that guy's a rat he must be a Derek.
You fucking rat
Sup rat
by Brybry101 June 12, 2018
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DEREK

The greatest person you will ever meet, because he does not care. Love him or hate him he does not care. That makes you envious and jealous, but he does not care. You can talk trash about his wiener, but he got his nut and does jot care. You already miss him.
Derek is so cool, but I hate him. He does not care, so I like him more and hate him more.
by HereToRuinEnlish May 24, 2018
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Derek

Is a filthy pervert who loves porn but is attractive. He’s into weird things like pimple popping Videos and lesbian porn but he can be a nice person and he likes jumping off tables
Derek is kind of emotional.
by Dennis_Ho February 22, 2019
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