Do you want to know how I got these scars?

What the Joker says to people before telling them a story about how he got the scars on the sides of his mouth in The Dark Knight.

The first story involves his drunk father killing his mother, then cutting the sides of his son's mouth with a knife to make it appear as if he is always smiling. This is where the line "Why So Serious?" is said in the movie.

The second story is different, in which he talks about his wife. He states that he puts a razor in his mouth and moves it around, therefore cutting himself, giving himself more scars.

Story 1: Do you want to know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the knife, "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth, "Let's put a smile on that face!" And...Why so serious?

Story 2: Well, you look nervous. Is it the scars? Do you wanna know how I got them? C'mere...Hey, look at me...So I had a wife. Beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much; who tells me I oughta smile more, who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. Hey...One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries; she can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. Hm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars! So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now i'm always smiling!

by Painted in Laughter October 11, 2008

I can break these cuffs

A phrase usually uttered after being arested, espcially if you are a black midget prostitute, to an officer of the law, often followed by AAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!

Black Midget: "I can break these cuffs."
Officer: "You can't break those cuffs."
Black Midget: "AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!"

by Fowlah178 June 10, 2010

"I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

A phrase one hollers when one is sick and tired of a situation. From the film, "Snakes on a Plane"

After hours of dealing with bureaucrats, John suddenly shouted "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

by Charles W. September 13, 2008

Catch these hands

Fight me hoe

You bout to catch these hands boii

by Mf_starboii January 6, 2017

The reason these tables are numbered

There's a good one, but Honey, you just haven't thought of it yet

Guy: Dayumm, Panic! At the Disco has the longest song titles, I mean, "There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, but Honey, you just haven't thought of it yet"? That doesn't even have anything to do with the song, it's so st-

Girl: Don't you dare say the word "stupid" in reference to Brendon Urie. EVER.

Guy: But what IS the reason these tables are numbered?

Girl: Honey, you just haven't thought of it yet.

by P!ATD<3 August 7, 2010

Who the actual fuck writes these Urban Dictionary definitions

When you are looking through definitions people have wrote for the Urban Dictionary and you see one so terribly disgusting you have to click the Keep Out button 180,000 times

If I had a dollar for everytime I just clicked the Keep Out button I could raise a child. Who the actual fuck writes these Urban Dictionary definitions?!

by I'm A Fucking Unicorn June 15, 2016

Stunt on these hoes

To flex; show off. Look up the 90s term "Flossin"..."Stunt on these hoes" could be "Flossin these hoes", which is a line in a Biggy song. Basically an updated version of this.

Watch dis imma stunt on these hoes! Dis bih ain't wearin no drawz! Call da Hilton fa dat prezidential suite...12 bottles a Cris.

by Opie-Loc November 24, 2021