A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.
911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022
Kevin Spacey, recently arrested for sexual harrassment of young men is a notorious Turd Burglar, as is former House Speaker and wrestling coach Dennis Hastert.
by Mike From Akron January 24, 2018
This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....
Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019
-an individual who finds joy in sucking the joy from others.
-someone who sucks the joy away, as if taking the joy away from relieving yourself by pooping.
-to call someone a turd burglar means they ruin any enjoyable moment all the time.
-someone who sucks the joy away, as if taking the joy away from relieving yourself by pooping.
-to call someone a turd burglar means they ruin any enjoyable moment all the time.
All i wanted to do was enjoy a peaceful break from work, but my boss kept walking around the office. He's such a turd burglar.
by Bradgehog November 5, 2013
A Turd burglar is a mythical being that takes your turds (aka poop) from your toilet at night when everyone is asleep, similar to the tooth fairy legend.
Little boy: Mommy when will the turd burglar come?
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
by BeeftGunkle June 20, 2023
When you need a shit so bad,it needs complete lonesome to let loose the beast, then someone walks in, causing it to be sucked back in like e g g
by WrittenToe79 June 22, 2022
A person who buys, or tries to steal, something that is in a bad state of repair and thinks they will be able to sell it after a minor amount of shoddy work for much more money.
Man I can't tell you how many turd burglars from craiglist are blowing up my phone asking me if they think the car I am selling for parts can be rebuilt and made road worthy.
by K2xW July 17, 2021