A Sloth Man is a sufferer of slothitis, an inherited disease, typically a Sloth Man struggles to finish a meal before it is cold, make it to anywhere on time, get out of
bed, stay awake or move. Their minds are too diseased with slowness to grasp irony or sarcasm and they argue using long drawn out 'no no no'
s.
Slothitis is temporarily contagious; the monotonous rant of a slothitis sufferer
will often force the listener to adopt the symptoms of a sloth man e.g. drowsiness and lethargy however once out of contact with a slothitis sufferer a healthy
human'
s immune system
will repel the slothitis - the diseased cells are two slow to cause long term effect.
Slothitis is a degenerative disease and the sloth man
will slowly develop a likeness to John Squires of the Stone Roses, their voice
will heavily deepen and their deep monotonous speech
will enable them to communicate with whales. Generally a slothitis sufferer from birth
will die before reaching the age of thirty as they can no longer feed themselves however the disease can lie dorment and effect people at later ages.
Normal Person: 'Your two hours late'
Davey (slothitis carrier): 'I was eating my
dinner and had to straighten my hair'
Normal Person: 'I hate you
Sloth Man'
Davey (slothitis carrier): 'No no no'
Whale: 'Hellooooooo Davey'
