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Strava paranoia

The feeling a competitive person might experience while using the app Strava: uncomfortably haunting, being watched, followed and judged by other competitive Strava users (strava wankers) based on one's performance.

Might ultimately provoke performance burn-out and/or loss of enjoyment of recreational sportive activities due to a predominantly kudo-focused attitude.
Simong: Hey guys, you heard that Fred said he wouldn't enjoy cycling anymore and is private on Strava now?
Kongo: Yeah, the poor lad suffers from severe Strava paranoia and can only enjoy exercise with top performance levels on Strava.
by glrd May 16, 2020
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Dick Joke Paranoia

Basically anyone who believes they're going to get caught with a dick joke at any given moment. Doubting every question and reason.
Person X: *asks anything*
Person Y: "Ok, kys kid. Where's the dick joke?"
Person X: "You literally have dick joke paranoia, smh."
by Vincent Alex January 16, 2023
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mic paranoia

when you're taking a shit during a zoom call and you have your camera blocked off, but you're still worried about your mic being muted
Jon: Damn I really gotta take a dump but I'm in a zoom call
Brett: Why don't you just go bro? It's cameras off
Jon: I can't I got mic paranoia
by Mike Hawkington the Third October 2, 2023
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gyat paranoia

When you have a big booty and you think every inaudible whisper is someone talking about it
"I could've sworn they were talking about my ass. Maybe I just have gyat paranoia."
by lavajellybeans October 31, 2023
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google-paranoia

The belief by google that every login is potentially fake and deserves deep investigation
fuckin' google-paranoia is nagging me again
by artag May 12, 2018
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snot paranoia

A state of mind when in a swimming pool after going under water and coming back up and finding snot around your nose. The rest of time at the poll is spent checking your nose.
*dives in pool, resurfaces* "did yall see that?! " "no...aw gross man wipe your nose......sick!!" what!?! Oh #$%& !! .....man now I'm gonna have snot paranoia
by YnoT June 29, 2012
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